Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Lol, I love this one. I'd so do that to my friend. :)
farmgirl 3
#4 - not even real guns are illegal... and that's really funny, i would have done the same thing
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Comments (108)
sparda4355 0
#41 YOU'RE an idiot and a hypocrite! Aren't you commenting on text unrelated to the origional post by telling us to shut up! OP borrow your sisters new stun gun and find that #41 dumbass, he/she needs a good stun in the ass! #41 happy? that pertained to the origional post!
Rachelgrl1989 0
THat sucks that your sister zapped you, but you do seem to be a good brother.
sparda4355 0
#43 Dude we would be giving up the second amendment! That is a right! and states that allow people to carry firearms have significantly lower crime rates! Criminals will buy guns regardless as to whether or not they are aloud, so the only people effected by banning guns are those who need to defend themselves! and as far as restrictions... There ARE restrictions! If you have a felony, you cannot own a firearm! There is also a required wait time before you can purchase a firearm to hinder premeditated murder! They run a background on anybody trying to purchase a firearm! Plus as far as "police over using tasers"... Preventing us from having them won't hinder that statistic at all, because they will still get to carry them!
satanicminnow1 1
Criminals want guns to be outlawed. I saw dozens of interviews with inmates and they all said it would be great cuz they can easily get guns from the black market and they know the mark will not be armed. Self defense is needed.
alex_vik 1
YDI for getting her a stun gun.
ammali 0
#9 that sucks, you in CA?
Echo_11 0
no good deed goes unpunished
Demon_Squirtle 0
At least you didn't get her a crossbow or a flamethrower or an ak-47 for her birthday. ... I just officially unintentionally made your sister sound like Rambo.
satanicminnow1 1
FYI stun guns and tasers are legal in CA.
wodka_lemon 0
#46: "and states that allow people to carry firearms have significantly lower crime rates!" I'd love to see any statistics prove your hillarious comment. #34: Where's the right to drink alcohol at the age of 16? ;)