Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, I told my mom that my wife and I got her a birthday present, but she won't be getting it until April. That instantly pissed her off, cussing us out calling us cheap worthless selfish bastards. I was about to surprise her that she's finally going to be a grandma. FML
Today, my wife threatened to leave me for "bodyshaming" our daughter by giving her a bicycle for her birthday. I bought her a bike because she's been asking for one for months. FML
Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my upcoming birthday. Mindful of our budget, I said I just wanted to relax at home all day and then get a nice dinner with her. She blew up and yelled that I'm "using my birthday to be a lazy slug." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
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Top comments
cmayer 20
If someone gave me a treadmill, that would be the best present ever.
caveman72 9
Same happened to me. Can't win...
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Comments (45)
Selphis 20
Women... they're like a minefield
llama612 27
I tend to think with women it's more like your playing football in a minefield where the other team has a map of all the safe zones
Sekkaichi 12
Even when you feed them, you can't please them.
goldfishgod 20
I guess I wouldn't expect a guy like Squilliam Fancyson to understand women.
caveman72 9
Same happened to me. Can't win...
poopsi 19
You can almost never win with women man. They're like cats, all happy and cuddly, and the next second they're murdering your face off. D:
Palirose 22
To be honest...I think it was awesome he got it for her...but I think he should have bought it another time and said "I got it so I can lose weight" then tell her she can use it when ever she'd like to since she spoke about wanting it. Then he could have gotten her the treadmill but indirectly gave it to her. With out hurting her feelings. Yes? No?
Wizardo 34
With women, even if you win, you lose. They're right, you're wrong. They're smart, you're dumb. They're big, you're small and there's nothing you can do about it :'(
ciaraohagan94 5
Are we really classifying Miss Trunchbull as a woman? She was more like a cross between a wildebeest and a bulldog
Wizardo 34
Actually Matilda's dad said that to her and Ms. Trunchbull is vivacious as ****... :L
peacelovecoffee 20
20 - Women are pretty crazy though.. she would probably still get mad claiming that he only got it because he wanted her to use it. :P
cmayer 20
If someone gave me a treadmill, that would be the best present ever.
greenfishbait 19
Seriously. I would be on it everyday!
Caltech 12
u might be a fat women, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ just kidding haha
CrysisAverted 5
I think your best bet here is to say you bought it for yourself and forgot her birthday op.
wildperson 8
Good grief. That's a pretty great present IMO. I personally see running as more of a hobby than an exercise/chore.
error404n0tf0und 21
run forest run.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Sometimes you cannot win.
Mirorbo 27
You just can't win sometimes with some women. Hopefully she calms down and gets her head together to know you were only abiding by her wishes, dah'ling.
XxXkyttiXxX 11
The female midlife crisis: you can't win.
twinkiefeets 17
Unless the brand name of the treadmill was FATSO, that's a pretty great present. I would have been elated to receive such a gift.