Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Lol, I love this one. I'd so do that to my friend. :)
farmgirl 3
#4 - not even real guns are illegal... and that's really funny, i would have done the same thing
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Comments (108)
sparda4355 0
#9 your state sucks!
sparda4355 0
17, 23, 31 In America we have these things called RIGHTS! Like the RIGHT to "protect yourself"... America rocks, your country sucks! (see you at the olympics) Stun guns are NON lethal, Why the F*** should they be heavily regulated? Regulate this... ***insert picture of me flicking you off***
satanicminnow1 1
#34, Amen brother!
iamspartacus2 0
#31, you are begging for tyrrany. We will get it. My brother, Ron Paul, and myself, will fight for the freedom that whose absense has caused so many problems in the last 8 1/2 years... the 1/2 being Obama's hypocritic semi-tyrannical administration. Anyway, this FML reminds me of a friend of mine who got an illegal switchblade from his uncle- he has no clue how his uncle got it, but damn that thing is sick.
sparda4355 0
"Anybody who is willing to give up a little liberty to gain a little security, deserve neither and will lose BOTH"! Ben Franklin!
Alleandro23 0
This is my favorite one i've read in a while.
iamspartacus2 0
#17 and #22, **** yourselves as well. If you werent flames who lack the balls to pull a trigger, you'd love guns, like me. Besides, if this nation forgets freedom, we will lose it. Alexis Detouqueville predicted that we would eventually become so lazy and retarded that we would ask the government to run our lives for us. With Obama's economic reforms, especially his ones on healthcare, we are heading that much closer to having no power over our own individual economic resources. We are losing the holy freedom that our ancestors died for thanks to you. And #37, you are a badass.
sparda4355 0
#39 You are pretty badass yourself! :) Thank you!
GabriLee 0
The number of altercations over FMLs is ridiculous, especially when most have little to do with the original FML that was posted. Shut up and tell the OP that it sucks he got stunned. That's what the comments are made for. OP: It really sucks that you got stunned. Hope it works though. Close calls are not good at all and your gift was thoughtful.
Locket_fml 0
Regarding any # that contains a gun-toting american. How is allowing any civilian to own a deadly weapon after the most minimal of psychological tests better than restricting the use of said weapons? Of course there is the oft-quoted statistic that a firearm kept in the home is 43 times more likely to kill a family member than an intruder. And lets not forget the numerous deaths associated with tasers (reported by one study as 180 in 1006 alone), and the claim by Amnesty that 80% of taser usages by police were on unarmed people. #39, not allowing every idiot to own a gun does not equate to losing your freedom.