Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Lol, I love this one. I'd so do that to my friend. :)
farmgirl 3
#4 - not even real guns are illegal... and that's really funny, i would have done the same thing
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Comments (108)
lol_seriously 0
BSSSSSST! Woo it works! Thanks so much :D Oh hey... are you alright? hahahah
log1k 3
what a bitch, I agree with 10.
oneeye10 0
#53, From the Department of Justice about how criminals got their guns http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/guns.htm >2% Flea market/Gun show 12% Retail Store/Pawn Shop 80% Illegal sources Also, a town that requires residents to own a gun has not had a gun-related death in the 25 years since the bill was passed, and the crime rate has dropped as well. http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=55288
Wololo 0
Your sister is a bitch for doing that. And can we please end the shitstorm over firearms already?
z0mb13 0
At least you didn't buy her a real gun or pepper spray. Pepper spray hurts like a bitch! And having her shoot you would suck balls. I'm not sure if a stun gun hurts as much as pepper spray, though
Avenging_Angel 0
Lol, give her a high five for me. That's funny :D
thebeefytaco 0
"#4: Nope, not in America. They are in any country with reasonable gun laws though." gun laws are a joke If someone's planning to murder someone or rob some place they're not going to obey some stupid gun law and they're not that hard to get. all they do is keep guns out of the hands of law abiding citizens, which give more power to the criminals.
cameraboirzu 0
#60 is my kind of person Anyway, at least you know it works. It needed to be tested eventually...i mean think about it? Where you gonna test it on a dog? Would that be against nature? Oh no, cuz human life needs to change for animals, who dont give a damn. Adapt and change. That was sarcastic btw...
Zwink 0
if my sister did that i would wait until two in the morning and sneak into her room and take the stun gun and shock her awake
Cantabguy 0
Are you gun-friendly Americans truly insane? How does everyone having a gun make anyone safe? Here in Britain we have possibly the most tightly restricted gun-ownership laws in the world, and as a result we have very little gun crime, especially compared to the US. Nobody owns a gun, so nobody needs one to protect themselves. When I walk down the street, the idea that anyone I see might even own a gun, let alone have one on them, is preposterous. How many more schools have to suffer massacres before you realise your gun laws are mad? You don't even need to outlaw guns, look at Australia! They used to have similar gun laws to the US, and they had some school shootings. They practically outlawed semi-automatic and automatic weapons, but didn't really change the laws on six-shooters and shotguns. As a result, they haven't had a school shooting since. To me it sounds medieval, living in a world where everyone has a deadly weapon and you might have to empty your bank account if you get injured.