Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
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Top comments
SAgirl 23
So you freaked out and cried and your upset with her because you freaked out and cried?
Hangryko 32
No praise for your girlfriend for her quick thinking and potentially saving your miserable life? Still friends with manchildren misogynists? YDI.
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Comments (6)
SAgirl 23
So you freaked out and cried and your upset with her because you freaked out and cried?
Hangryko 32
No praise for your girlfriend for her quick thinking and potentially saving your miserable life? Still friends with manchildren misogynists? YDI.
jlc82 14
girlfriend's POV: today I got mugged and while my boyfriend stood there and cried I had to defend myself. FML
JuneBleeds4 20
Yeah, she didn't emasculate you. You did a pretty good job of that yourself. Kudos to her for thinking on her feet, though.
angus 17
You made yourself a laughing stock, but having said that, don’t beat yourself up about it. Getting mugged is scary as hell, traumatic and not easy to defend against. You can’t plan your reaction. It’s generally safer to hand over whatever they want.
KittyKatGirl 15
yeah, I don't blame him for his reaction, I blame him for his reaction to his and her reaction. Reacting scared to something that should be IS normal and valid. What isn't is getting upset at someone because their reaction was 'better' especially when they didn't do anything to cause your original reaction
BurnInDemonFire 39
That woman is a hero.