trembelwick
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Romance me please
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Anonymous
Murrieta, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
"Shortcomings"
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
stun_zeed
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML
Ryan
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Unwarranted
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
FreshDonuts
Antioch, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
wtf
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Mike
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Anonymous
Serbia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Top comments
bananabuttercup 8
That is weird on so many levels.
Savra_fml 17
Coin slot?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
weesnaw_08 7
Lol. Shows how appreciative she is of you.
thisisafunnyname 12
or that she could be getting the big bucks from someone else
cosmosis 12
22- but none of them really can be used as a metaphor for OP's "small" penis.
farhil 14
Easy cum, easy go...
TheRealBruce 12
Ask her if she has change for $100 ;)
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Turn her round and bend her over; maybe she just needs a donation in her chocolate deposit box.
Driveshaft 5
Is it one of those wallets with the chain, or, the one with all the little flaps? Either way, I can never find what I'm looking for when I'm in a hurry.
bobbycorwen 5
19 - Pretty clever.
tygerarmy 35
Maybe your not small change, maybe she's got a meat duffle bag.
theian01 3
You don't keep change in a wallet, silly.
Savra_fml 17
Coin slot?
MrKlutch 1
If she's the wallet, and your the small change.. You need to visit the bank ;)
Blackmail111 9
Or stick your dick in the vending machine and see if you have enough for a bag of chips
ScaughtieHolden 11
Sounds painful.
mojobanks 8
Just tell her if you're small change then she's a broken slot machine because she keeps letting you insert your coins and you get a pay out each time!
graham11 14
OP, go to coin star and cash in your coins!!
dyble95 0
1. Read 25's comment. 2. Figure out what "the bank" is a metaphor for. 3. ???????? 4. Profit!
bananabuttercup 8
That is weird on so many levels.
kasgurl113 0
Agreed!
graham11 14
I guess OP won't be winning the lottery any time soon!
JustinThunder 8
If it makes you feel better, I'd prefer five one dollar bills than one five dollar bill.
teague95 16
all at once?
JustinThunder 8
Duh. There's another way to do it...?
MLK12345 4
Why do I imagine Charmander saying this?
jessimica642 8
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
hopeforkitty 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hahahha pokemon sucks.
gayphish 0
Charmander is Charmillionaire.
pudwoogie 0
You should date a midget next time
organicmtdew 0
No way. I'm larger than most, and when I was dating a dwarf she couldn't reach my junk when I was in top of her durring foreplay.
gabrielbaby 9
So how big are you then?
teague95 16
The biggest 3 inches of your life.
brandenh 0
4 inches at 90 mph is hell
uncleyuggles 0
3 inches and dangerous, BITCH!
uncleyuggles 0
.
death_dolphin24 0
Good enough.
graham11 14
Anything small at a high rate of speed can do some damage!
yahoowizard 16
Maybe the meat wallet is too big =0
Naitsi 19
lol
M0rt 0
YDI for dating an ass and/or having small change
SpaceDementia_fml 4
Ohhhh, oohhhh, oohh my gooddddd, ohhh, i'm so sorry.... ****
thisisafunnyname 12
are you jacking off...to fml?
ohmandapants 17
^types like it.
graham11 14
Somebody call 911!! Oh wait.. Just grab a towel!
EvilCupcake8361 9
Don't get too excited there buddy
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
LMFAOO this actually made me laugh
dasteve 0
Was she drunk?
fmlikecrazy 0
She's just special like that?