Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Lol, I love this one. I'd so do that to my friend. :)
farmgirl 3
#4 - not even real guns are illegal... and that's really funny, i would have done the same thing
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Comments (108)
cyxx 0
63 - Agreed completely!
westsideknight 0
hahaha.....Brilliant
jen_kay 0
Hahahah. Thats Hilarious!!! but on the good side she knows that it works incase she needs to use it again.
christopherlove 0
What the hell do you mean by "close calls?" She saw a black guy after dark?
ohhhhshizzz 0
#88: Go play in traffic, you jackass.
martymcfly12 0
#4 no there not if they allow machine guns, rifles, and shotguns in this country then i dont think a gun that shoots a tiny amount of electricity is gonna be illegal
av232 0
lol #87, you stole the words right out of my mouth
speeddemon12 0
bad things happen to good people
Alley_Way 0
@#90 Actually machines guns are illegal
Compass 0
Thank you, OP, for appreciating the difference between a stun gun and a taser. You have gained respect from me.