Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother is snoring so loud that I can still hear her with the door shut and with earplugs in. So much for sleep. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Did you try to rescue her with your super soaker?
thefallenoo 0
this just means you gotta do the same and scream next time so she realizes you can hear everything
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Comments (127)
Rainbow_dumpster 28
ouch. that sux. :P
TrollsHaveSouls 0
that's wat he said
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
How many monkeys did you kill to find this out?! Douche.
pimplayer 0
dying monkeys lmao
funnyFMLSplz 0
tell her to stop having sex? or use ear plugs
krazy_glu3 0
hah if someone told me to stop having sex cause I was too loud I'd say screw them!! I'm not quiting my sex to make someone happy. just leave the house!!!!! talk a walk or something?
SchiTzenGiglez 0
I killed a monkey once, i feel your pain. hate those little bastards
wisericky 12
im starting to hate monkeys, they keep stealing my perks :(
funnyFMLSplz 0
LOL ASCENSION FTW
Doortje 30
Did you try to rescue her with your super soaker?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Nice reference. :)
my2centsworth 15
I was going to ask nearly the same question. Seeing your comment made me laugh.
kriegs444 5
nice haha :-)
derpherp 0
Bwahahaha ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
DahkLohd 4
Tragically, the OP was too late - I had already soaked his mom by the time he arrived. :D
newnew8 0
dortje- haha nice dahklohd -hahaha thats funny
Zmeilerr 22
Mom likes it hardcore!!
stkbcd 0
interesting..
jammyjam1234 0
how do you now what a dieing mockey sounds like?
ramboman19 8
it sounds like her mom. lmao
MrsLender_fml 3
I don't think anyone knows what a "dieing mockey" sounds like.
newnew8 0
haha mrslender - that made me laugh. jammyjam1234 clearly can't spell :p
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
Even though the spelling is wrong , it's pretty simple to figure ou what he means . but nice sarcasm :)
thefallenoo 0
this just means you gotta do the same and scream next time so she realizes you can hear everything
ceepevoy 0
win!
Ozmat 0
considering it's a guy that would be fairly odd
WallyTheWombat 0
Then he needs to start watching some **** and crank up the volume. Don't do anything though incase she decides to walk in, but after a while, shut it off and go outside your room and sigh a sigh of satisfaction. Then go and touch a bunch of things in the fridge.
Lounia_fml 8
So, you've heard a monkey die? Do your parents own a zoo or do you guys live in the jungle?
TrollsHaveSouls 0
did u join in with them and 69?
ilovesexywomen 0
well atleast you know she doesn't worry about bikini waxes!!
RiskiBusiness 1
lol funni
RiskiBusiness 1
lol funni
hook_em 0
well you go get yourself a screamer and see which monkey is the loudest while it's being killed
Po1ntBlank 0
LOL!
Po1ntBlank 0
LOL!
Po1ntBlank 0
LOL!
Quagmire_ladies 9
LMFAO NOW THAT WAS GENIUS!