Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother is snoring so loud that I can still hear her with the door shut and with earplugs in. So much for sleep. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Did you try to rescue her with your super soaker?
thefallenoo 0
this just means you gotta do the same and scream next time so she realizes you can hear everything
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Comments (127)
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Maybe if you got out more she could get that out of the way while you were spending time with friends etc...?
IHeartJimi02 0
I agree. If op went out more then many mom could have sex when he was gone.
bloobelly 0
get a life and you won't have to Hear it
gnrgirl09 0
I don't know if its the way you worded this op. But this made me lol....
JosieBongs 0
That's disgusting. I hate it when people don't try to keep their shit on the dl. I would've started banging on the walls or something else utterly stupid just to piss her off.
MaloPero 4
mamas likes bananas:D sorry i couldn't help myself:P
allmidnighteyes 11
Pfft, she's not really THAT loud. I'm pretty sure your parents just took a page out of the XKCD handbook and built an elliptical reflector dish to amplify and direct the sound of their having sex towards you.
bansheebomber 14
I love XKCD :D
Calyx_fml 22
Yeah, sorry about that. She said I was bigger than most of the men she brings home. I had no idea she would be so vocal.
leler23 0
haha that is funny but I feel for yu
HomeAl0ne 20
You're assuming that's your mum making the sound. Personally I'd check your trash cans for monkey corpses before making such accusations.
trappedinthevoid 0
you are my hero.
SiobahnR 0
And what exactly does a dying monkey sound like?
dwdrummerpro 0
apparently his mom having sex.
WallyTheWombat 0
Is it dying peacefully or being beaten with a sack of old diapers? I'd imagine they make different sounds.