Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Noise complaint
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Confusing
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
My ears!
Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Top comments
StefanKa 23
Well, if your dad us hung like a horse she's a lucky woman. Be happy for them and next time put on headphones ;)
junkman6 22
Well they say what's in the jeans is passed down in the genes. I'd say having a horse **** isn't such a bad thing OP.
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Comments (116)
StefanKa 23
Well, if your dad us hung like a horse she's a lucky woman. Be happy for them and next time put on headphones ;)
onlychildFTW 34
Noise canceling headphones can come in handy!
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Who knows? Maybe the "horse" gene runs in the family!
Robbieisadowg 16
Never mind, I just read OPs username... I said that OP could be a girl but now I realize he can't...
RedPillSucks 33
I'm sorry. Have you seen horse penis? I'm pretty sure if any guy whip one out of his jeans, ALL girls would be running for the hills. That's some scary shit right there.
sickerthanyou 13
actually I'm not happy, you were very condescending even thou my question was simple, maybe it's you who shouldn't be here, the internet is already full of condescending people
speakersboom 19
#66, all I can picture is the horse scene from Jackass. *shudders*
junkman6 22
Well they say what's in the jeans is passed down in the genes. I'd say having a horse **** isn't such a bad thing OP.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Just what I was thinking! I guess I should have read all of the comments before I made one stating the exact same thing. Oops.
perdix 31
#2, genetics just gives you a chance to inherit your dad's junk, there's the other chance that he inherited what the men on the mum's side are packing. She might be from teeny-peeny people.
sourgirl101 29
I once read that males tend to inherit many of their mother's traits. Ex: Lots of guys favour their mother (and daughters-- their dad). Not an exact science but. . . Also, I was told that if guys want to know if they'll go bald when they grow older, look at your grandfather on your "mother's side".
OctoDope 15
Not so true, I'm about all of my dad even down to the apparent loudness we italians talk. Not sure about in the pants though... I have next to no genes of my mom and if I do they aren't visible ones. So that may be true for some but not fully. And about the hair thing my dad has thick lush hair, my mom has thinner hair. Ive got thick hair so the moms side grandfather thing is also a bit skeptical.
sourgirl101 29
I did say it wasn't an exact science. :P However, my husband is in the family of hemophilia. His body doesn't produce factor 8 so he's a bleeder and clots slowly. We were warned by the doctors that our daughter would most likely be a carrier (and pass it on if she has a male child) but our son would be unaffected. Some things do get passed on by genes because of gender.(:
Ashamed_Sister 60
@35: I might be wrong but if I remember high school correctly the genetic information about the male reproductive system is mainly or entirely located at the Y-chromosome and, therefore, gets passed from father to son only.
jkmartinjk 16
@47 Your daughter will most likely be a carrier because the gene is on the X chromosome. Since your husband only has one X to donate, your daughter will get that X. There is a low chance that she will not have Hemophilia. However, if you have a son, your husband will pass on his Y chromosome only, so your son will not carry the defected gene.
skyeyez9 25
My niece and nephew looks like mini clones of their mom. They look like they were spawned without a father, because he looks nothing like them. Her gene's are apparently very dominant and took over. Its scary how much they look like mini clones and have all of their mother's features and none from their dad. They even have platinum blonde hair like in the old movie with the creepy glowing eyed kids.
ethan9100 7
you might need some big jeans for those genes cx
SammyS2012 21
62- to expand on that, if the daughter did get an affected X from the father, she still has her mother's X chromosome. because females are XX, one X is silenced in the genome. thats why there are higher risks for boys with X linked diseases; boys dont have that second X chromosome to silence the affected chromosome.
SammyS2012 21
shoot i mixed it up... my entire comment if valid if the MOTHER is the one with the sex linked disease........ sorry guys.
xSkittle 16
Be glad they still have a good intimate relation!
MrSarary 26
parent's fornicate, that's how you got here mate, try not to listen next time, earphones maybe?
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
Fornication is to have sex without being married, often with a prostitute.
Dre27 20
#5 you screwed yourself by not dumbing down the words
ksks1234 33
5-- should have said copulate.
badluckross 21
5 should have kept his mouth shut.
StillUsesMyspace 22
Since we're all putting down 5, I'll join in. parents*
Emergency_fan_1 13
that's what I do when I can hear my parents
MrSarary 26
Thank you I didn't know there was a difference. Why is everyone so hateful? I made a mistake, don't we all?
Dre27 20
Headphones on sneak out, both work in that scenario...
happyfingers 15
Loud music+headphones for you. Or earplugs.
Trooth 13
Brings back childhood memories of the good ol' rocking horse doesn't it? Sorry about this probably life-traumatizing experience. I know how you feel.
dachayke 16
thank you for making me cry.
adamfromaus 9
horsey styles the best
cray_shay101 4
HaHa
H4IL2TH3V 8
save a horse, ride a cowboy
zaise_chsa 19
Well hopefully they'll become so horse from their screaming they can't make as much noise the next time.
lalablabla100 6
xD nice pun
zaise_chsa 19
Thank you lala