Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML
Today, my husband called me annoyingly needy for saying he never compliments me. I could be half-naked, shaking my ass on the internet, or cruising bars to get validation from strangers. God forbid a woman wants the one person she loves to pay her a crumb of attention. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I realised I may need to work on my marriage when I saw my husband in public, laughing and smiling with his coworkers, then when he saw me his smile disappeared and he stood up like a tired old man to come and speak to me. FML
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
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Top comments
eilonwylovegood 8
He's an ass.
Michael_92 20
Damn that really does suck. Guys like that make us all look bad.
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Comments (258)
Betz 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Getting a new husband would be a cheaper option.
PlaySpades 21
Not really....
LaughinStock 16
I'm sorry Mel..I'll treat you right if you want. :P
TomHarrow 5
4. actually it would be. divorce is only 800. and no one (maybe sometimes) pays for their own wedding. I'm only guessing, but a boob job has got to be in the high thousands.
Just_STFU_Please 13
Never compare someone else to your loved one. That's just not right. There's a reason why you married him, but what he said was a dick move. FYL
KeyboardWarrior 10
Fishing for compliments never works. Don't you read FML? But still, that was a rude comeback on his part.
theaws0m3guy 4
Well said, 21.
Just_STFU_Please 13
That's like him coming home and saying his coworker got a boob job and it looks tremendous(hint hint). Probably should have brought it up in a different way than making a comparison.
musicluvr2000 11
I agree.
LolFMLnot 10
What do you expect if your whining soo much? You could've tried to do something to keep your husband interested, rather than whining sorry.
cobanjo 2
Are you dumb?
Angel_Cacey 7
Did anyone else read this like he had a redneck accent ?
TheClumsiest 0
Shallow.. get a new man.
thisiscat 14
MEL ANCHOLY. What a clever pun.
mistfullkittie 3
Divorce is only 800$?!? Aww hell!! I'm filing tomorrow!! :)
capper44 18
#21 why its bad reply, OP did complain about him and so did he.... If she married that guy then should have tried to understand his way of love lol
nerdlyfe101 4
You deserve it for comparing your husbands relationship with someone else's.. You fell in love with your husband for a reason . He doesn't need to hear why other man are Better than him. And you don't need to tell him either . Every individual is different in there own aspects. Some are more romantic than others. A lot of fights are caused because of couples fighting over what other couples have and what your relationship doesn't have . And it's completely senseless ..
Bobissmall 13
I agree 177, she deserves it for saying how she'd never been treated like that while in his ear shot. Obviously you were trying to hint something to him OP, maybe next time you should be more direct, instead of talking about him behind his back.
BTSfanatic 0
I agree. But your name. Is ******* retarded. So... Uhm... Yea.
CheshireHalli 19
Bob, she was talking to him. It says it in the very first part of the FML.
You_Need_Soap 6
XD Totally did.
MikeD321 1
actually that ends up paying the woman cause guess who usually pays the bills
LolFMLnot 10
231 its 2012 , not all the men pay the bills. These days wife and husband pay the bills together.
Liindaaax3 4
Big time ass hole ...
eilonwylovegood 8
He's an ass.
BeccaHugs 17
I read this in Red's voice from "That 70s Show."
eilonwylovegood 8
She should put her foot up his ass.
SecretMe00 5
What OP didn't mention was whether or not she complains about not being able to get a boob job... So she could of just turned this around and put it on her husband(which is bitchy).
lebronesque73091 12
Married couples at its finest.
MCweSCRAPPY 2
He's a dick for saying what he said, but it's also pretty bitchy to just walk up to your husband and say "You don't treat me like I deserve to be treated."
BeccaHugs 17
Well isn't he a charmer.
teameminem 2
I could see both sides of this FML. Of course the husband is a douche for saying what he said, but comparing your husband to another guy isn't the nicest thing to do either. Maybe at the beginning of their relationship the guy treated her like gold and he felt insulted when she told him he's never treated her like that. It's not OP's fault that she doesn't have the boobs her husband wants, but it's not the husbands job to always give her what she wants either.
waitwhatsgoingon 18
Beccahugs, I'm in LOVE with your profile picture!!!
BeccaHugs 17
162 - thanks darling :)
TheWindowLicker 13
It's nice when your significant other does something like that because they want to. But if you have to hint at it, it's not the same. Just drop it and move on.
sayyestothedress 24
Exactly! He loves you in his own way! Plus it would be worse if he called by another woman's name!
Michael_92 20
Damn that really does suck. Guys like that make us all look bad.
JurassicHole 5
No, no they don't. Just another ass being an ass, doesn't make me feel bad to be a guy.
onlychildFTW 34
If you wanted to be treated like her, there's the answer for you. But that's mean of your husband to say.
schmelia 10
Yes, only large-breasted women deserve to be well treated.
Marcelb 17
In fact, smaller breasted women should actually be treated better, as they have to deal with bigger breasted women getting what they want more easily. That must be frustrating. :)
maronofhearts 19
Maybe what 9 should have said is you want something so do I so why can't they compromise. She's never been treated as great as her friend and he's never had a wife with big boobs? Like others have said its a bitch move to compare your relationship to someone else's like that and she should've expected a negative response for the way she insinuated he doesn't treat her good enough. Who knows what he did when they were dating to get her to marry him. Why is her request valid and his not they both went about it the wrong way
tjmcg 7
Tl;DR ^
ambamm135 7
That is mean, but maybe you brought it up in a way that made him feel like you were attacking him and not trying to have a discussion. Or your husband is an ass, either way it was a low blow
BloodMonger13 9
#8 actually I think it's cheaper then going threw a devorce when my parents got devorced it cost alot close to 200 thousand because of the lawyers and the house was and the devorce papers cost close to $1000 the custody of the children hired nannys to take care of my lil sister because my mom and dad both work... so ya I'm not going to go into further details about it but ya...
dabomb1463 0
Tell him to get a ******** job :)
daisyismydog 3
Good one?
DrMime 10
Ya or a ********. Cause like, you know, his leaf blower is broken...
phantumgrey 6
******** job? I'd doesn't work like that. Maybe you meant penis enlargement?
DarkSanster 7
WTF? Who the hell gets a ******** job???
MischievousLoki 6
Tell him to get a penis implant, cause the only dick in his pants is himself. A real big dick...
Ferretface 13
Why would he get a penis implant if the dick in his pants is a real big one?
dabomb1463 0
I love this comment
writergirl23 19
Um ... The commenter is alluding to his attitude, not his penis size.
laden_swallow09 35
118 - You get +10 Interwebz for using "allude" correctly. You're welcome. :)
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
Men who only think about women's bodies are pigs and never desire to love....
genquad 6
What???
THE_A_TEEN 28
Feminist! 6 o' clock high!
LunaDragon 10
Uh 37 is your phone upside down? You mean 12'clock right?
SecretMe00 5
54 I was thinking the same thing but just didn't bother to say anything about it lol
kei1108 13
37 - Anyone who values a person's body over anything else is awful. Don't think that calling someone a feminist is an insult. Do you believe that both genders should have equal rights? Yes? Then you're a feminist. That's all there is to it. No man-hating!! That's reverse feminism. :)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes #54, I type with my phone upside down. Glad for you to notice. That and I was playing a Video Game. :)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well #84, I thought #12 wasn't going after those in commited relationships. ...and yes, I do support in EQUAL rights. Not the "lets sympatize with the women and go after the men" bullshit.
Wandering_Ninja 8
Believing in equal rights for both men and women is called equalism.. feminism is wanting superior rights for women.
rttr 18
I think I love you.
matt_mcg 2
I think the correct term is feminazi
RhymeTyme 3
You are 14 As far as relationships go, you are still green You don't even have your own values You might end up with a guy like this toos
smallsmerry123 5
37- stop bitching, you have your rights.
THE_A_TEEN 28
No smallsmerry, i'm still a teenager (hint: "A_TEEN"). I don't have the full rights an adult has. Shut up....
JurassicHole 5
84 - You're wrong, as some have said before. "Feminism" is more towards female superiority, but supporting equality is just supporting equality.
Snowlight_fml 7
If his phone was upside down, it would have read 9 o'clock. Watch, maybe?
kessler93 0
That sounds like something a fat chick would say, just saying...
paschale 7
The first person to use the word 'feminazi' FAILS!!
FMLbeginner 0
198 you're just jealous cause you didn't get to it first. Cry more please.
Enzi_fml 21
If you look up "feminism" in the dictionary, it actually says "the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men". In order to be a feminist, a person must support gender equality, not matriarchy.