Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML
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Top comments
people_annoy_me 23
What a bad shituation you're in.
SpartyOnWayne 18
Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably shit
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Comments (57)
lexiieeex3 32
Oh no! Hopefully you were able to get changed safely. Best of luck.
tarlax 11
Changed "safely"? I don't think the shit was in danger of exploding or anything. It's a shart, not a fertilizer bomb.
sturschaedel 27
20, as a mother, let me tell you: There are not many things more destructive than a diaper blowout. Never underestimate the force of shit.
lexiieeex3 32
20- Sometimes it can go through your pants and stain your clothes. As a special Ed teacher, I've seen it all. And there's nothing worse when you can't do anything about it. Safely was most definitely the correct word.
people_annoy_me 23
What a bad shituation you're in.
Amama_fml 30
I think this is the first "shit" pun I've seen that is not down voted. I'm impressed.
MrBlackledge 12
If only I could thumbs up you more
mds9986 24
That stinks what a shitty situation.
terspal 14
What a craptacular pun.
nfedrichy 20
I thought it was fartastic
MyNameIsLaughter 18
You guys please stop! We are so much better than this!
Indiantrolledd 16
Lol **** you all, these puns are great.
ChristianH39 30
Never trust a fart.
oliv34 11
Never waste an erection
sweetbliss3 37
how horrible. hopefully you got it taken care of quickly.
Koolaidandtacos 21
Sneaky with a splash of sh*t
mswhatever 18
You can say shit. This is **** My Life. See shit. We are adults here. We can swear.
hard_candy 25
amateur. everyone knows you don't force a fart too hard.
SpartyOnWayne 18
Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably shit
CrazedGunner 22
Damn right.
WOTAN1488 24
Sounds like a...crappy circumstance...
RedPillSucks 33
crapinstance?
MrConcise 35
The worst is the car ride back if you don't have a change of clothes in the trunk. You're trying to sit in your seat as much as possible without actually touching it, and still trying to push the gas pedal in a half-sitting-half-standing position.
sturschaedel 27
You seam to have quite a lot of experience in that matter.
MrConcise 35
Let's just say I'm allergic to eggs and it took a lot of pairs of pants to figure it out. lmao
whitnayfortooh 29
and what if he didn't even have a car, he took the bus. he had to walk half a mile to the bus stop and wait 30 min for it. and he had to take 3 buses to get there. the horror!