Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
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Top comments
DemonNecron 9
To be fair they are scary, I mean it can make people
colton_colton 50
It's better than him peeing on everything or something
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Comments (103)
Rkikkas9713 25
I wonder if he has heard of tumblr.
DrChimpNipples 6
Lololol
born_hustla 26
Lol, it's just a matter of time! He will come realize how precious his staff his. Talk to him as he gets older tho, wouldn't want him to try something weird or stupid.
buckstop1 37
Lol yeah, like #7 said, as long as he doesn't cut it off are anything.
jwb8711 13
Not sure how this affects you OP especially how it's a FML
Boopycat 15
Isn't this an early sign of being trans?
chosha_fml 27
#19 It can be, but that one thing alone definitely isn't enough to know.
WitEluded 13
You could have a lot of fun with this... Tell him in about 10 years it will grow a brain of its own and start poking its head up without his control, and will even spit when provoked.
xninix_fml 36
That's just mean :(
badgercheese94 16
But he is two so like in a day he will forget you ever said that!
krispybacon4321 23
Why is this thumbed down? Lol. It's actually kinda funny.
ohSNAPyall 27
Hopefully you can help him out of this phase during potty training.
yolololol3 17
Don't ask him about his business
Enslaved 38
Don't be surprised if it soon becomes his favorite plaything, and he constantly touches himself. Even at that young of age.
OtakuTaco 15
He(?) may be transgender.
Joshawott 21
This is probably looking way too deep into it, especially given the lack of information in a single FML, but sod it, it's Monday and I want to take as much time as I can XD: I'm guessing that like most young children, his care is mostly handled by your mother? Because this sounds like a situation that could be benefited by his father taking a more active role in things such as bathing and changing (or heck, you didn't disclose which gender you are, so if you're male - maybe you?). While someone that age will obviously not understand a talk about why it's okay to have a penis, they might become more comfortable with their own if they realise that more people have them, through seeing a male family member bath with them or seeing said family member have a pee? When my youngest brother was that age, me and my family found that he was scared of non-white people, which was simply down to the fact that as my immediate family is white, he hadn't associated with anyone who had a different skin tone. Once he started school and joined a class with a number of non-white students though, his fear soon disappeared.
sturschaedel 27
I somehow have the feeling the mother deserves at least some of the blame. both my boys love(d) to play with them as babies and still do (toddler&preschool now). It's natural. A 2yo saying eww is not natural, he must've learned that behaviour somewhere. Maybe the mum was uncomfortable with him playing with his penis during nappy changes an bath times?
LalaDee561 8
Ir maybe the child developed the fear on his own? Maybe he doesn't understand what it is and it may look weird to him? It doesn't have to be the mother's fault.
krispybacon4321 23
He actually lives with his father.