Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, I tried to prank my little brother by jumping out from behind a door to scare him. I ended up scaring myself when I caught a glimpse of my weirdly-lit reflection in a mirror mid-jump. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
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Top comments
ohhhsnapple 14
Quite the role model! Pee in his shampoo. XD
kfamazing 10
You better watch out! Looks like urine trouble.
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Comments (80)
ohhhsnapple 14
Quite the role model! Pee in his shampoo. XD
PewDiePie_Lover 14
how can a female pee in a shampoo bottle? xD
Ambrily 27
She could pee in a paper glass and then pour it in the shampoo bottle...
cakefete2 31
Even without a penis I'm certain a person can manage that.
MissSatan 16
I think pissing in his apple juice would be even better
Gittoh 21
how can a female NOT pee in a bottle? you do know how a womans privates looks like right?
Demoniq 25
#34 - no, he probably doesn't :P
False_Stupidity 42
What makes it worse is that #11 is apparently female and does not know this.
CoolCookie210 22
#36 lol you just made my day
Nilorak 24
Make him step in it.
Mystery_Unsolved 16
Yeah good idea, considering he's their *older 17year old brother*
BlueFlatts 20
Why can't one take revenge on there older sibling?
BlueFlatts 20
the* Sorry grammar nazi's.
ddlovatolover 23
It should be "nazis" and not "nazi's".
ThexFroggyGirl 21
This is why they say girls mature faster than boys...
zeemonster424 15
No a girl would just write a nasty Facebook post instead.
deathfyre8 13
Nice generalization there, #3. Not all boys are like that. I matured around when I was twelve. It depends on the individual person and I can see a girl doing this just as much as if it were a boy. Switch the word brother for sister and then I'd be able to comment "Boys mature faster than girls and this proves it" Also #3, you're one of the prime reasons why sexism still exists. *RANT OVER*
Sebastian2022 22
I'm pretty mature. :p
vairyhagina 11
Actually, someone's brother taking a piss on the floor isn't why people say girls mature faster than boys. People say that because they do, usually girls will hit puberty at a younger age than boys.
HoloTheWolf 5
Obviously no one is saying ALL boys mature slower than girls, there ARE no absolutes in the world, but on /average/ boys and men do take longer to mature. That's why a woman will be ready for marriage are 22 but a guy usually won't be until he's around 26. It's just our genetic makeup. And no. A girl is not "just as likely to do that" it's disgusting and girls don't think that way, plus guys have a propensity for peeing on things, and girls don't. Also this is not sexism it's fact, just like saying most men are physically stronger than most women, that's not being sexist, it's fact.
blueiceninja 13
#50 "it's disgusting and girls don't think that way." Generalizing all girls, the definition of sexism, not fact. I personally know many girls that would do that, or worse, as a prank.
PinkieKeen 20
"NAWT ALL MEN"
Mystery_Unsolved 16
Let the debate be on
WillN210 7
Thanks for the stereotype. I know girls that do just as dumbass things.
redstone7693 29
That is pretty sexist.
rambleramble3 11
#49, Puberty only indicates physical maturity not mental maturity. I know plenty of people who are past puberty and immature. So unless you are referring to physical maturity, you can't state that as fact
LexiDaBae 17
The bottom line is that scientifically, girls mature faster than boys.
zach205 24
There is always that guy who goes too far for a joke, guess her brother is that guy.
kfamazing 10
You better watch out! Looks like urine trouble.
zach205 24
That pun might piss people off
cakefete2 31
Even if they get mad, just remember you're number 1.
StillUsesMyspace 22
Oh crap, you used up all the toilet puns (t.p.)
Aquila_Umbrae 26
All of you are my hero. I laughed so hard I almost peed in my own doorway. Stay puny everyone.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
More like urine urine.
Muddlet_Science 4
Guess you're pretty pissed off about it. ..Should I go?
worldclassrager 41
Watch your step in the door way on your way out #6
martin8337 36
Better to be pissed off than pissed on, unless you're into that sort of thing.
kerbear1232 16
That sounds like something my brother would do.. I hope he doesn't read FML's and get any ideas.
Nmaredia 4
Wtf how can people be so gross!?
baseballbv 17
That's such a pissy thing to do.