Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
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Top comments
magentaballoon15 8
now that's a shitty situation
Garyy_fml 11
and there's 5.) The assholes who see the overused pun, and wants to be a *****, so they point it out.
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Comments (54)
magentaballoon15 8
now that's a shitty situation
titopei 0
Ahahaha
Saltime 0
In every FML, there's usually 3 types of comments: 1. The "I'm first; worship me" people. 2. The "I second that comment 'cause I can't make my own" people. 3. The "Insert shitty pun here" people. But for you, I'm making a new category. 4. The "This pun has been said 50 times but I'm gonna say it again to get noticed" people.
Garyy_fml 11
and there's 5.) The assholes who see the overused pun, and wants to be a *****, so they point it out.
genesisnirvana 11
i feel really inclined to tell you that your face is a shitty situation.
Garyy_fml 11
21: Was that directed towards me? I was born this way!
shovels 0
>:D
genesisnirvana 11
23:lol not it wasnt
j_cat187 20
robs mom, it's a sticky situation
Saltime 0
20 - Actually, I'm already in a category: "Commenters that everyone wants torture before killing".
Jake_2013 0
Saltime wants to die.
DocBastard 40
That "shitty situation" joke is so old, the three wise men told it to Mary and Joseph in the manger when Jesus dropped his First Holy Load. Seriously, people. It isn't funny any more.
iEatGuppies 0
potty training timee! and shit before bed IN THE TOILET.
enonymous 9
it's a good exfoliant
prince122 0
is Ipoop a new apple device I haven't heard of?
whatsittuya 2
but that was 34
taytay6510 6
1- That's so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur. ;)
anabanana6444 0
lol xD
smith2001 5
haha I see what you did there
aavatar10 0
51- No, it's a new iCarly movie.
jtcballoon 0
looks like you're a type 5
KingGeorgeGal 12
Aren't you just a comedian?!(;
magentaballoon15 8
sorry...I was really bored :p I had nothing else to write and I had nothing else to do...
poloy325 9
That's so funny last time I heard that I farted and created a universe
Kamon97 23
Isn't OP supposed put a diaper on her in the first place? Kinda a YDI if you ask me
teentee401 37
It says SHE, meaning the daughter, decided she didn't need a diaper. I'm pretty sure the two-year-old took it off herself.
evaki1 12
Fyl :( your story made me smile
HugoBosss_fml 0
I laugh.
swagindragon 0
then whyd you put a sadface
HelloNoora1 0
22 she has to clean up poop
synonymous 1
Hopefully it didn't soak through to the mattress!
kittykat1497 7
I don't think shit can do that unless it's diarrhea or something XP
synonymous 1
lol That's what I was thinking too, but if she's two she may have peed too... Remembering my brother's stories anyway. Made for some messy mornings for him lol
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
no one cares
kittykat1497 7
well eff u too 52
ryanbeast1124 0
freaking gross
kyleturzinksi 0
that is what kids do
dawsum1 3
eww
DReamBig24 0
why was your two year old not being supervised? so you were asleep while they were crawling around?
Eringobrag88 0
She woke up after sleeping through the night, crawled into my bed to wake me up
coco_puffs09 0
Maybe because she said, "this morning." Mother's don't have a magical biological clock that tells them, "the baby's about to be up.... I'm gonna wake up now and wait for it." Shit happens. Literally and figuratively.
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
when you have a kid and have actually experienced looking after a little kid you may diss someone's parenting skills. until then shut up.
frescheina 0
So when you have kids your gonna stay up for 18 years and watch them sleep this is the real world dumb ass
ohmandapants 17
two year olds don't crawl. Or at least they shouldn't still be crawling.
Eringobrag88 0
Thank you all, but, coco, i'm the father lol
krista2009 0
hell yea you tell them lol
coco_puffs09 0
Haha, well, daddies don't have that magical biological clock, either. I'm sorry >_
auburnfancade 0
hahaha that's a shaft up your ass
kandyluv4evr 0
that's alright she's two. she'll hopefully be potty trained soon
neo_girl_12 0
I don't know why the kid isn't already in the process of being potty trained or already potty trained.
DocBastard 40
How do you know she isn't? Children who are potty training still need a diaper, especially at night. Hence the term "training". How many children have you potty trained?
Saltime 0
Considering her birthdate, I'm guessing none.
Shanokie 2
because you can't force a kid to want to go on the potty. average age for girls to potty train is 3 and boys is between 3.5 and 4
sugaboo 1
In my experience 3 is old for a girl to potty train...plus if she's able to identify that she pooped and take off her diaper she's either being trained or ready to!!
IGotNippleRings 4
That's just gross :/ FYL
ifailplzinsultme 0
Wait that isn't normal? You learn something new everyday!