Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Junk in the trunk
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Firehose
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML
Caught red handed
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Top comments
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.
ACrispyRainbow 0
Problem?
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Comments (378)
SoccerDrew 4
Well then... Why is he wanking?
pie29302930 0
Go Nucks go! Btw, don't saw swag.
ackus 0
that's why it felt so good. buy cheaper lotion
bizarre_ftw 22
Make him buy you 3 more bottles and inform him he's still obligated to get you a Christmas present and tell him to be less of a half wit and think before he wanks
cryssycakesx3 23
Jesus. did you just get dumped or are you one of those extreme feminist lesbians?
death_dolphin24 0
Ydi for spending $90 on lotion.
Fletchdads 9
At least he has a baby soft dick now.
cryssycakesx3 23
that's creepy on too many levels.
allyboss78 16
That's a very posh wank.
HU4L188 0
His dick will be as soft as a babies bottom
cryssycakesx3 23
again. creepy.
blazer19 8
Keep him satisfied and you won't have to worry about him using your moisturizer..
aerogxt 7
If you're paying $90 a bottle for moisturizer, you freakin deserve it. FYL.