Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Junk in the trunk
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Firehose
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML
Caught red handed
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Top comments
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.
ACrispyRainbow 0
Problem?
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Comments (378)
fishface517 10
Maybe op likes to splurge on themselves once in a time, like how some men have to have expensive cars. At least he's silky soft now.
2amkid 0
ever wonder why his dick was so soft? Well now you know ;-)
iHavezMyBirdo 0
Well... Your boyfriend's penis is plenty moist at least.
deequu 20
It's pretty bad to use any kind of moisturizer on the genital area. Wow! Your both smart!
davy187 0
must be some good lotion
epiikgangster11 2
Jeez give him a hand
deebaybeee19 6
Why the hell would you buy a moisturiser for $90? Does it have like gold flakes in it or something?
mcmayo16 4
ydi!!!! $90?!
eatmyshortssss1 8
Well Christ, does it cure cancer? YDI for paying $90 for moisturizer.
docscientist 10
Women and their $90 moisturizers. The media sure got to you...
deebaybeee19 6
Not all women are stupid enough to spend that much money on one bottle of lotion so stfu with the sexist remarks, dude.