Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML
Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
tomhofer 14
That's depressing
Animekid126 13
What a good boyfriend
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Comments (164)
tomhofer 14
That's depressing
TwistedCherub1 15
And OP can't have chocolate to make it better. Guess you'll have to get your serotonin the old fashioned way, OP, through lots of sex.
Ashamed_Sister 60
@1: That’s not depressing. I would call it "tough love".
soccerstar1996 18
A chocolate cake and extra sex? Your boyfriend has it made
tvwrestler98 14
that's actually pretty funny. Not gonna lie...
Animekid126 13
What a good boyfriend
firefighter925 18
Like a champ!!!
rgriff27 19
My question is why didn't she just leave the room if him eating the cake bothered her so much.
DJ_Pelco 20
He's a heartless monster and a keeper
slooby_fml 25
I think it would have bothered her whether she could see it or not. I think it's just the principle of it: him eating the cake right after she got that news. if I was him I'd wait at least a few hours so as not to be a douche
yerbduebeenehe 16
Ouch. Kinda funny, though.
Zelphoric 25
Not really... Just sounds like her boyfriend is a jerk
JadeStonewolf 5
*uncontrollable giggles*
yerbduebeenehe 16
You 'avin a giggle m8?
gc327072 31
I'll 'ook u right in the gabber m8, swear on me mum!
JadeStonewolf 5
Yes I am #10! x3
ThunderLightTSV 31
cringes
purple_glitter 10
I'm sorry OP. At least there are still plenty of other desserts besides chocolate that you can have. FYL
JtPv 14
Ice cream in a bathtub is a classic for a reason.
limitedition 25
His ass took the bullet for you. He's going to have to run a lot of miles to wear that off!
HerMischief 21
He's a guy, so it will probably be taken care of by his metabolism.
limitedition 25
Excuse me while I weep quietly.
horneyhic 15
I wish
juan3611 14
Not all guys got good metabolism..
SammyS2012 21
82- yeah, but it's easier for guys to lose fat than women. a woman's body does not want to lose fat, in case it becomes pregnant.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Wow, what a dick
thisawkwardchick 15
I agree, #7, drop him and go.
DaMann360 19
He did you a favor. If he hadn't, the temptation would have taken you over and you would've eaten it. Take it as an act of love (even if it didn't have the best intentions).
Bibliovore 26
A cruel act that has a silver lining, maybe, but really NOT an act of love, and self-deception to try to frame it as one. Unless, perhaps, OP is a masochist and her (his? the post doesn't specify) boyfriend thought that that kind of taunting would actually be appreciated. Otherwise, it would've been far more an act of love to give the remaining cake (and any other chocolate in the house) to a friend/neighbor/relative, or to throw it out. Or even for the boyfriend to sneak it to his workplace so he could finish it himself out of OP's sight.
mdw7 12
Yes, let's throw out perfectly good good because OP can't eat it. Don't worry, hungry people will understand throwing away good food to spare OP's feelings.
smokecloud_ 37
"...or to throw it out." :O Not the chocolate cake! That should be a felony.
mdw7 12
.
sexysaltshaker 11
Tell him no sex until he stops.
Mshrodes 13
Soo... If we assume the whole act of eating a chocolate cake lasts around 20 minutes, she won't have sex with him for 20 minutes. Yeah. That'll teach him.
challan 19
You are suggesting a life with no sex and no chocolate... I hope you aren't a suicide prevention counselor.
JMichael 26
Well you never know challan, he/she could be.
sexysaltshaker 11
I think I need to work on my sarcasm so people may understand I'm joking next time.
JMichael 26
You might want to do that
sexysaltshaker 11
:)
sexysaltshaker 11
I got 16 thumbs down for a peace gesturing smiley face. I cannot go right here :P
Lonely_islands 5
just so you know, you can't portray sarcasm over the internet because people only know it's sarcasm partly because of the tone of your voice, and partly because it's usually something a bit outrageous. denying sex because of that is not outrageous at all, although kind of stupid.
dragon5assassin 5
He is just laughing inside while eating it lol