Anonymous
Oakland, United States
Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
fmal
United States
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Anonymous
Unhygienic or he's a natural hunter-gatherer
Today, I found my missing wedding band inside my 2-year old's pull up. It was accompanied by two coins, a Hot Wheels car, a pebble, and a dead bug. FML
momac86
United States
Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML
Anonymous
Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML
pinky
United Kingdom
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
concom
Cyprus
Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Ansharus
Londerzeel, Belgium
Where is it??
Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML
flipflap
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Top comments
airball33 0
Lego's hurt more.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Now the jewelry is a part of you. Literally.
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Comments (98)
airball33 0
Lego's hurt more.
LaidToRest48 9
Diamond Lego's ... :motherofgod:
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Lego has brought my family through many hardships throughout my childhood. I will never forgive Lego jaba the hut for what he did to my foot.
j_cat187 20
Razor blades are far worse
siickman 7
Usually no one complains about blades because blades lay down... Shattered glass...ouch
redmane 21
Ten years ago, my brother was playing with a sharpened pencil and I was standing right by him. He acted as if to stab the floor and stabbed halfway through my foot. I still have a graphite mark from it. Just thought I'd share.
KiddNYC1O 22
Thank you. ^
redmane 21
Thanks for the thumbs down, really.
urdirtyolduncle 15
26- cool story, bro.
redmane 21
I know right? Jesus. It's just a story. Unjustified negative feedback.
elephantom12 9
Redmane don't get butt hurt over people thumbing down your comment, it's not a big deal.
urdirtyolduncle 15
41- this is my thumb, and here's what I'm doing with it!! *thumbs down* Jeez, calm down; don't act so dramatic.
redmane 21
Sorry, university finals have deemed me sensitive and exhausted and insane. I am not accountable for my actions. I apologize.
crazycatlady5 6
What I'm worrying about, is why a two-year-old boy has jewellery.
causticgirl 6
It's the hard plastic little green army men that have caused me the most tears...
Cad6 24
Christmas ornaments hurt the most. Don't believe me? Go watch Home Alone.
VoteForTaco 8
71- I hope you step on a lego in the dark, then you WIL change your mind.
Cad6 24
Are you threatening the existence of my foot skin?
_Oblivion_ 12
I hate it when I step on razor blades. They are so painful just laying flat sided like other flat things. I usually keep them on the floors in my house so that they are easily acessible. Never know when you need them, ya know?
Mommyof2_91 10
That is why my kids have foam blocks :)
Skywalkaz 0
The dangling modifier there makes it sound like you lost it when it got stuck in your foot. =/
TheGewt 7
Well, does it match your shoes??
thejewishfuhrer 17
Because, you know, matching her jewelry to her shoes is OP's biggest concern right now.
BunBunBabe 8
I get it number 2, it wasn't a bad comment
TheGewt 7
Thanks, I don't know why it got bashed haha
LupeTabasco 5
A real diamond in the rough.... bunion skin...
katcot99 11
I don't get it, plz explain?
loserman67 36
Toe ring or piercing? Details please!
yankfan89 27
Assuming how the FML said lodged I would say OP has a new piercing. Way to be an innovator OP
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Now the jewelry is a part of you. Literally.
ladyLALAA 29
Dear Katy Perry, Thanks for understanding my feelings. Sincerely, Plastic Bag
mpsteve137 15
Well at least you found your jewelry!
KiddNYC1O 22
Odd treasure hunt...
Trisha_aus 15
You are a gem
bfsd42 20
OP, are you blaming your 2 year old for losing your jewelery? If so, I am ashamed.
SkoomaKi 28
It is known for children to be attracted to shiny things, just like birds. So therefore children are baby birds. Any other argument is invalid.
MrFuzzles 5
Metal detecting feet, nice!
perdix 31
How did your kid get lodged in your foot? Are you sure you should be publicizing this? Are you that idiot Octo-Mom?
thejewishfuhrer 17
Based on all your prior comments, I feel like this one Is really witty or something, but I'm just not getting it..
Klug_fml 7
I think perdix is implying that OP called their child an "it", but I'm not sure.
Cad6 24
Perdix's comments are so overly witty that he ironically makes them look dull.
crazycatlady5 6
I see what you did there...