Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was on autopilot, walking out of the bathroom, and separated my pinky toe from the rest of my toes over the door frame. I dropped to the ground in pain, and my toe and half my foot still hurts hours later. FML
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Top comments
_kyleG_ 34
Clearly, anyone with a shard of foresight would've been sharp enough to sweep the mess up, or at least to have put on footwear.
cutycat136 28
Next time, might I suggest sweeping the floor if you lose something sharp like that so that doesn't happen again.
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Comments (52)
lfrider92 21
You don't sound to sharp..
Pleonasm 36
Hate to be a glasshole but it's "too", not "to". Don't talk about sharp if your spelling isn't on point.
hellnosucka 27
C'mon let's not sting#1's feelings. pointing that spelling mistake might shatter his heart to shards.
littleking94 14
# 9 ****** intelligent person. #1 that was punny
Cely988 29
Maybe you should've worn house slippers until you could find the piece of glass.
Chibi_Hiroko 18
Maybe they were going to but they stepped on the glass along the way…? I dunno
tantanpanda 26
OP could have just swept the floor. it's not that hard. Walk where the glass has the lowest probability of being and get to the broom to sweep the floor.
cutycat136 28
Next time, might I suggest sweeping the floor if you lose something sharp like that so that doesn't happen again.
AyeJay101 25
Always best to sweep large pieces first then vacuum any remaining pieces that may be too small to see. Also maybe wear socks if not slippers? It will save your toes a bit.
Hertyn 14
Sweeping the floor or using a vacuum cleaner didn't cross your mind?
alxro091 6
Not the brightest person I'd say, why you kept walking with no shoes on? while knowing that piece was out there waiting for you. anyways FYL
_kyleG_ 34
Clearly, anyone with a shard of foresight would've been sharp enough to sweep the mess up, or at least to have put on footwear.
_kyleG_ 34
Yes, there are 3 puns... and 0 regrets.
Kyle1dc 17
You've shattered my expectations for the amount of sharp puns you packed into this small shard of a comment. Bravo good sir, bravo.
littleking94 14
LMAO
chosha_fml 27
3? Shard, sharp and ?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Clearly, I think, #36. Since glass is clear. :P
Beyto7000 20
Has happened to me before. ****** sucks
ProfessorMctitie 20
and now you get to spend another hour getting it back out
Vanderdale 14
Why didn't you try, I don't know, vacuuming? Or wearing shoes?