Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Stand up guy
Today, I found out why my fiancé has been treating me like garbage lately. He thought that me getting fed up and dumping him would save him the unpleasant task of having to confess to the affair he’s been having with his coworker. We’re expecting our baby girl in 4 months. FML
Making whoopee
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML
Today, I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband says he needs time for himself. This apparently means he will be romancing and sleeping with other women so he can "relax". FML
Bad sex
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML
Bad news
Today, I came to found out that every time my husband told me that he was on "a work trip", he was actually cheating on me with some other bitch. FML
Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Oh look, there's a nice curb with his name on it.
JOFreeman 13
The interesting part is how did you find out... But still definitely sucks...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Oh look, there's a nice curb with his name on it.
sweetbliss3 37
I agree. kick him out. it's one thing to cheat, it's another to cheat while knowing you're having a baby. don't get me wrong I don't condone cheating, it's a douchebag move, but it makes it that much harder when pregnant, or already had a child,being involved. ridiculous.
Mkm1997 20
Maybe his mistress will take him in
fuckercakes 21
I agree with 21, anyone who not only cheats but cheats on their pregnant wife deserves to be kicked out and have minimal contact with the child
chinaski7628 32
65-- I am the product of a bitter divorce. One result of that was that my father disappeared from my life. It really sucks growing up knowing that your parents' hatred of each other caused one parent to leave you. Granted, it took me many years to accept that my father was an asshole and it wasn't about me, but no kid should have to be the victim or pawn in a divorce. I understand the desire to cut the father out of the child's life, but if he loves his child and wants to be a part of the child's life, he should be. OP should still dump his ass, but not allowing him in his child's life punishes the child, too. Now, if he has no desire to be a constant presence in his child's life, that's a totally different story.
meggieeeee92 27
75- I'm pretty sure the dad doesn't really want the baby too badly if he's cheating on the baby's mom and it's not even born yet.
jamiescot9 7
75- Divorce doesn't cause parents to suddenly become bad parents. Divorce just makes it more obvious who the bad parents are. Realistically, even if your parents had stayed together your father more likely than not would have still been a terrible parent and you'd be on here talking about how your father didn't love you, didn't want to spend anytime with you, etc. People may blame divorce for parents no longer having active roles in their children's lives but the problem isn't divorce. The problem is the lousy parent.
Babymamak 3
#65 if he's too busy cheating instead of taking part of his unborn child's mother health and the fun parts of being pregnant then obviously he doesn't care about the child.
Babymamak 3
They cheat and it gets worse. My situation started off with my ex cheating then he graduated to hitting me. So either the parents stay together and things get worse or they separate for the good. In my opinion separating is way better. I no longer have black bruises on my face, nor on my body.
tiarnatargaryen 23
To everyone saying the dad doesn't deserve to be a part of the child's life- Whoa! Way to judge the father. My dad cheated on my mum and they broke up, but I still had and have a very loving father who cares about me. I would even say our relationship is the better for it because being on his own forced him to grow up. Not that I condone cheating at all, it just depends on the individual circumstances whether he will be a good father. Plenty of people with two married parents have a bad mother/father, his chance to be a good parent shouldn't be taken away from him due to issues he had with his wife.
metalcrazed 21
Um,no. You can't punish him by limiting contact with his kid. If you do you are punishing the child by not letting him have contact with his dad. Also he has a legal right to see him. Custody and visitation shouldn't be used for punishment.
CrazyOvrMustangs 10
I read this and immediately thought curb stomp, because I'm pretty sure that's what I would do. I'm very sorry for the situation. I know how difficult it is.
DMJeanette 4
why make the kid start with bad influences by keeping around a piece of garbage? Out with the trash he should go!
burnforeternity 30
Perhaps there's also a bullet with his name on it
JOFreeman 13
The interesting part is how did you find out... But still definitely sucks...
sayyestothedress 24
What kind of person would do that to an expecting mother! He's the father! I feel bad for you future child!
PennyLane27 32
Who cares how OP found out!? There is ZERO excuse for it.
alice_18 16
40, I believe 2 meant that he was just curious as to how OP found out. I don't think he was condoning the cheating.
Soviet_American 29
I agree with 2, there should be a follow up
keifman7 17
Ouch! You may want to rethink this whole relationship thing
Rinat_fml 26
You think?
Senorangelo 10
The problem is that this is not JUST a relationship in the usual sense... Cheeeting is strange, man. When a baby is involved this is x2000 times worse :(
WCARlover 35
That's a special kind of scumbag. I'm so sorry :(
HeadlessSparrow 20
does he know that you found out? you can use this to your advantage! but that's horrible OP!
Senorangelo 10
This is not a bird game, Sparrow
garrett_8614 14
Maybe something like "The Other Woman"
Cass_x 22
It sucks that he's already your husband :/
ilovemsminaj 13
Yeah, and that she's pregnant too.
sanuxo_ 22
Wow. Leave his ass.
skatoolaki 24
That's simply awful. So very sorry, OP!
brook823 24
Divorce his ass
Ichiya 29
And the rest of him too!
dudeman1212 22
What a ******* ****.