Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML
Today, I'm 23 weeks pregnant and super horny. I also cried during sex with my husband because I can't orgasm. FML
Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML
Today, I'm 3 months pregnant and have seemingly started having sex dreams about other men. Last night, I had a passionate affair with an older man. Who was it? Joe Bastianich. FML
Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
At least it was both of you?... your wife should probably take a pregnancy test too, come to think of it. It's probably a good idea to start discussing what your options are now, because I believe that you are too far along for an abortion for anything other than life threatening medical reasons.
BurnInDemonFire 39
This is the script Judd Apatow should have used for Knocked Up.
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Comments (24)
BurnInDemonFire 39
This is the script Judd Apatow should have used for Knocked Up.
Ciela 22
keep it, give for adoption, and/or tell the person
Akitakat 31
This would make a good movie.
GhostFox 34
At least it was both of you?... your wife should probably take a pregnancy test too, come to think of it. It's probably a good idea to start discussing what your options are now, because I believe that you are too far along for an abortion for anything other than life threatening medical reasons.
LordGiblett 26
Assuming the threesome included her wife since it was drunk
xoxoblondee 31
technically, late term abortions are possible. it's risky, but it's doable in some states. however, it's probably not the option to choose. if OP doesn't want to keep the baby, adoption. however, this is a great way to have a baby in a same sex marriage without paying for IVF
manb91uk 22
I bet you’re wishing you’d just had a cucumber now aren’t you?
bogolopian 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe 'Dad' should just move in. Assuming you're the female side of the relationship of your icon though you might be caught having to choose. Only a little messed up. Hope it works out for you all.
Moerighan 23
They are both the female side. Your comment was stupid.
bogolopian 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Perhaps I should have said submissive.
Danne696 14
Yea, now I'm assuming that you're just a troll, trying to get a rise out of people.
tibtak 20
If she is pregnant, she likely is a female
Glowworm56 27
So, is your wife pregnant too?
DanielleinDC 34
Did it not occur to you to have the third member of your threesome use a condom?
MadiGirl24 18
Could be possible they used a form of protection and it didn't work though- nothing is 100% fool proof.
arioch_fml 20
Broken condom, or they were possibly too drunk to care? who knows without input from the Op.
Mynxie 26
How did you not realize it after not having a period for more than 3 months?
skippydoda 32
Some women don't have regular periods. I have a friend who only has three or four a year. Some women mistake spotting for a period. Many reasons to not know, especially if you aren't trying.
piinksock 17
I call bullshit too. There's no way you can go 5 months and not be suspicious. I've had 4 and I tell you, there's no mistaking it. When shes starving hungry and experiencing changes in libido after sex with a man and it takes 5 months to put 2 and 2 together? A missing period isn't the only indicator of pregnancy.
OrchidKitten 21
I once went 9 months without a period. Throughout the time I was constantly hungry, and horny. I wasn't pregnant though. Just because you have "symptoms" of pregnancy doesn't mean you are. Especially if you naturally have a high sex drive.
electrodude 15
Well that’s a story for when the kid is 18. Oh and congrats ?
MidnaLink 35
Ok, here's my two cents: 1) While it was a drunken threesome, as you say it was, you say we (meaning your wife was present) so there's no indication of cheating on your part (IMHO). 2) As people have said, here and on Facebook, nothing is 100%. You could be on pill and him with condom, and still get pregnant. 3) 5 months is pretty far along for an abortion, so if you can't/won't raise the baby, the adopt out.