Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
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Top comments
stickyface 17
Lawyer up immediately. Then throw her out. No trust, no marriage. She's on her own to figure it out.
IceTrees 15
SAVE ALL THAT INFO!!! RECEIPTS, RECEIPTS, RECEIPTS!!!! And like number one said, kick her to the curb like its Wednesday Trash Day!
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Comments (2)
stickyface 17
Lawyer up immediately. Then throw her out. No trust, no marriage. She's on her own to figure it out.
IceTrees 15
SAVE ALL THAT INFO!!! RECEIPTS, RECEIPTS, RECEIPTS!!!! And like number one said, kick her to the curb like its Wednesday Trash Day!