Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Stand up guy
Today, I found out why my fiancé has been treating me like garbage lately. He thought that me getting fed up and dumping him would save him the unpleasant task of having to confess to the affair he’s been having with his coworker. We’re expecting our baby girl in 4 months. FML
Making whoopee
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML
Today, I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband says he needs time for himself. This apparently means he will be romancing and sleeping with other women so he can "relax". FML
Bad sex
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML
Bad news
Today, I came to found out that every time my husband told me that he was on "a work trip", he was actually cheating on me with some other bitch. FML
Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Oh look, there's a nice curb with his name on it.
JOFreeman 13
The interesting part is how did you find out... But still definitely sucks...
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Comments (135)
PrincessRachael 7
You deserve so much better .. ?
Pandadude420 6
what a piece of shit
kaybessxo 16
Sad thing is, the other bitch probably knows. I hate "women" like that. If someone is married, with a pregnant wife.. Back off. Desire shouldn't be even anywhere in his thoughts. OP, you deserve more. But understandably you might wanna work it out. Don't beat yourself down by trying to fix something that's broken. My sister went through this. She ended up with a wonderful man& her two boys are so happy without their dad. Whatever you decide do it with all your heart, and good luck!
weaponofchoice6 11
what a ****!!!
dcats 13
I would never do that to my babe mother.
Parvati48 15
Wow, sorry OP. :/
juliawolak 8
Next pregnancy craving.. A divorce.
kaytee343 5
That's cruel. Why are people like this? Hope you kicked his sorry ass out and you meet someone who loves and deserves you, not someone who is going to go out and cheat on his wife.
andreaor 7
you have 4 things to do OP: 1. get a bank account and credit card in your name only, transfer all the money to that account 2. cancel all joint credit cards 3. throw all his shit on the front lawn 4. call the locksmith to change the locks to the house. let him see what it's like to be thrown to the curb
Frostillicus123 10
I'm from nova Scotia too. dude doesn't know what he's missing.nothing sexier than a pregnant chick.
tormcn 26
I liked that it said, from NS. Unlike the fact you sound like a crazed fetish hick.