Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Quickshot
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Bad start
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Tiny Tim
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Lost
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Nope
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Top comments
Kobwebs 19
If he's too embarrassed to buy condoms, he's definitely not ready for sex.
Wersome 13
Sorry Op but if either of you are too embarrassed to buy condoms then you are not ready for sex.
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Comments (177)
MandieL 27
Why can't you buy the condoms?
leogachi 15
@11 If they're going to be using condoms then they should take turns buying them, but if either of them is too embarrassed to buy them then they shouldn't be having sex.
MandieL 27
I concur, but way too often, the girl demands the boy bring the protection. Young females need to learn that they need to be responsible for their own protection too. It's not fair to the guy to always be expected to provide.
VanillaButterfly 14
Well most girls make sure to get themselves on the pill or something similar. I think it's ok for a guy to step up and get the damn condoms. Protection works both ways.
9a_1z 12
The girl is the one who is at bigger risk of getting their lives de-railed if they become pregnant, bringing condoms is a man's way of acknowledging the part they have to play in ensuring that doesn't happen. The girl will have enough responsibility if the condom breaks and they have to get the morning after pill anyway.
annalily5 28
Girls already have a shit ton of girl specific costs that often are embarrassing to buy. There's birth control, tampons, pads, and, if something goes wrong, the morning after pill. And if something goes really wrong, pregnancy and child costs that a guy can much more easily walk away from or an abortion. Plus, the condom is going on his penis, he should be the one buying and figuring out what type is most comfortable for him. While I do keep a box just in case, it really is not much to ask them to put out $7 for the thing going on his dick.
MandieL 27
I am a girl, and I have never understood why buying feminine hygiene products is embarrassing. It would be far more embarrassing to not have said feminine hygiene products, and walk around with a giant red stain on your pants. As for birth control, it is used for more than just preventing pregnancy. Some girls use birth control simply to help regulate their cycle so it is more predictable, or help with hormonal issues. Some girls don't use it at all because it messes with their hormones and causes negative effects. As a girl, if I want to have sex that will not lead to unwanted pregnancy, or std's, I will make sure I am covered. I would not want to need to rely on the guy. I actually bought condoms yesterday, and you know what the cashier said to me? "Did you find everything okay? How would you like to pay". No judgement, no immature giggles. Condoms, pregnancy tests, lube, tampons, midol, etc. etc., are all a part of every persons life and the cashier doesn't give two ***** that you are buying these items. Guess what, they buy them too. I think you're more likely to be judged on buying smokes, booze, and junk food. But I digress. If a woman wants to have sex, she shouldn't need to rely on the man to provide the condom. I'm not saying that he shouldn't need to buy them too, but a woman shouldn't get mad at a man because he doesn't have one, if she doesn't either. Down vote all you want, it's just my opinion.
annalily5 28
I personally don't find them embarrassing to buy, but they're still private business that you don't necessarily want to announce to the world, and some people do feel embarrassed. All I'm saying is it's ridiculous for a guy to expect women to buy all these equal level of awkwardness items, and then not want to get the condoms because he thinks it's too awkward. And again, it goes on his dick. He'll probably know what fits him better than the woman. So rather than risk something that slides off or it too tight, or doesn't feel nice, he should just buy it himself. The exception being if it's a hookup and the woman has a latex allergy, in which case it makes sense to keep something accommodating this specific need rather than hoping the guy goes out of his way to keep the right type.
TCRII 30
Ok. You need to both get over your embarassment about condoms and learn about birth control. Lesson number 1. If he suggests a baggie again, punch him in the nuts.
columbusthecat 17
Was it a Ziplock?
Alexandria79 22
plastic sandwich bag
olpally 33
A super small sandwich bag^^^ xD
pjsr 33
Snack size
Dawson72 7
Fun size
trulypar 34
What's his next suggestion...a rubber glove?!?
teresa96706 29
They'll probably just need to use the pinky part. xD
worldclassrager 41
Whatever works right? *sarcasm*
Blueocean7 19
Get it at any stores that have self-serve checkout lanes. Problem solved!
MariaGiovanni 25
So I'm guessing he won't be too embarrassed to buy diapers. Seriously if he is old enough to have sex he should be well enough informed to know what a dumb idea that is.
Alexandria79 22
do not take the risk. if you both are too embarrassed to purchase proper protection then you're too young to have sex. condoms are only 88% effective so you should also look into the pill.
leogachi 15
@19 They're 97% effective if you know how to use them. The pill is barely safer at 99%.
Alexandria79 22
I'll take a wild guess that someone who thinks a plastic baggie will work probably doesn't know how to use one. just a guess though.
Elban 20
Wtf you talking about Willis? I know how to use a sandwich bag
jerbear91 18
sounds like a typical Cali guy.
Tripartita 45
Yep, nothing more embarrassing than making a purchase that implies you're going to have sex. It's a guy thing, OP; we feel really ashamed of our sexual exploits and like to maintain an air of purity when out in public. Wait, what?