Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
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Top comments
Kobwebs 19
If he's too embarrassed to buy condoms, he's definitely not ready for sex.
Wersome 13
Sorry Op but if either of you are too embarrassed to buy condoms then you are not ready for sex.
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Comments (177)
Suicidal_Divide 17
If he's that embarassed to buy condoms, then he is too immature to be having sex!
Axel5238 29
If he's embarrassed about being safe he's no way mature enough for sex. I'd show him the CDC reports on STD's and the climbing rates if you are serious in staying with him. Red flags early on don't get much bigger if he was serious about it.
ashley468 19
Has he never heard of that thing called a self checkout?
kirkaygri 18
Have you ever heard of a small town? Not all of us have that luxury. Live in a town of 400 and everyone knows what brand, size, and flavor you're using. I used to buy my condoms two towns over; someone may recognize me but it's better than buying condoms from my math teacher's wife.
9a_1z 12
There's an unwritten rule with self check-outs that the moment you try and scan something even remotely personal it screams 'UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA' at you and all the check-out attendants have to come and help you.
Miss_Whipped 43
Plus they can see what you're scanning. It's on a monitor at their station.
Emmy0806 6
He does not seem ready to have sex. Imagine if this guy was ever a parent
Tomato_Cheese 22
Why don't you buy them instead?
dutchy86 20
just go without the condom... makes everything so much more exciting.... first time sex... and then wait if ure period still comes ore not... enjoy!
ShyVi 18
I'm sure OP doesn't want to ensure that she gets pregnant just yet. It's kind of the point of condoms.
CAPGator15 10
Hey OP tell you boyfriend to buy a birthday card when he buys condoms. People won't judge him as much. Or just buy them off Amazon.
TweetAnne 13
With that mentality I bet he thinks that if you're on top there is no way you'll get pregnant. Gravity and all that physics stuff you know.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Oh that's nothing. My uncle was embarrassed to buy just condoms on his wedding night, so he grabbed a random item off the shelf to buy with them. That random item happened to be a bottle of Vaseline. :D But anyway OP, I hope you didn't actually go through with it if he wasn't going to use some (legitimate) form of protection. It's worth it to save your virginity for when you're both prepared.
fridgeslyr 7
Get a real man who can handle his meat. And package it. I mean I can use more puns if it's not awkward yet.