Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
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Top comments
Solkre 0
Three hours, were you sewing clothes?
koco4 0
I think she was literally putting on her face. I can understand if it was a first date, but not in a relationship. She just screams high maintenance.
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Comments (139)
thehelenlouiseee 5
ouch, sounds like fun
texas_nemo 0
save money live better! smart bf
theswag 0
sounds like a date.
killpro 0
Such a romantic. Charming indeed.
JustinKingr 0
this is bad how? unless they are not for you...
cgysoccerfreak 0
bet the condoms aren't for you
cristallynn 0
uhm your fault for over thinking it? he didn't say out on a date, you were picking up lunch.
AngryNinja 1
i kinda have to agree with 14.. is that bad?
paigeatsflesh 11
at least you get sex(;
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
He's a genius
llcooljoey 0
well you'll have fun 2nite
woofis 0
um.... and? you get to go home tonight and have sex... fml?
Yee12 0
YDI for having a clock
DonkeyDelight 0
So did you have the sexy time? Does he have a pussy manet, I can have pussy magnet free?
aNTIzzle209 0
oooo
PottheadSam 0
lucky I never seen a Mcky Ds in walmart
fisheatsbear 6
mcdonalds in a wal mart. you can't really get more white trash than that
imbatman_fml 0
3 hours? How broke ass do you look that it took 3 freakin' hours!
XCaLX_fml 0
at least after lunch was fun ;o)
XCaLX_fml 0
umm 88it takes all girls 3hours plus they like goin slow to make the guys want it more(im a guy...it works)
78euge781995 0
Your boyfriend is a genius OP. 2 birds with one stone, eat lunch, buy condoms, sexy time TONIGHT!
idkweird 0
Who the hell takes 3 hours to get ready? I take an hour IF I am taking a shower, blowdrying and straightening my hair, and doing my makeup. Usually, even that is far too much time.
YOULIVETODIE 0
Yeah I'm replying to you so this comment can be up there. While at it I will state that the OP's boyfriend stated lunch not some fancy dinner.
Terwilliger 0
say what? you have a mcdonalds in a supermarket? oh man... thats ******. and stop bitching... why on earth would you take 3 hours to get ready in the first place? where did you expect to go?
bubbarific 0
ydi for not lookin foward to a night of pleasure
ToxicKittieh 0
Today, I got to go to McDonald's with my boyfriend, and I later, I get to have sex with him. FML
Fedor_is_KING 0
I know. Sex with a condom is FML worthy. At least you got to go to McDs.
MagnoliaFrog 0
ydi for taking 3 hours to get ready
vonniboo093 0
sex AND mikki d's...that's 2 wins :P
AndreaHaha 0
damn shouldv asked where you guys were going
wafflebot 0
this comment is win!
Nena713 0
Hey hey hey! In Texas we have mcdonalds in walmart *_*
icall_BS 0
I love those mcdonalds in walmarts. I get to use their bathroom and I get a big mac.
Traci6585 0
not how broke, but how ugly?
UberFail79 0
Damn, 3 hours? You simply misinvested your own time, and are now complaining about it. YDI.
chloeginger 0
at least he bothered getting condoms! :)
WordsOfHope 0
sounds like a first date
schism7990 0
Don't complain, you should be lovein' it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Moral- don't spend thet much time getting dressed!!
katmandont 0
@88 LOL!!!! I was thinking the same thing.
u_killed_kenny_ 0
how is this even remotley bad? I mean other than eating lunch at McDonalds and you thought it was going to be somewhere nicer.....
kaileebug 0
where I live there's a mcdonalds in walmart, or there was... I have been there in years!
StoryOfTheYear 15
in Soviet Russia we have Wal-Marts inside McDonalds
deathcab7 0
at least he was planning on being safe!
MandaOSU 1
Bahahahahaha NOOOO not all girls spend 3 hours getting ready, not even close! I don't think I could spend 3 hrs getting ready if I tried. And I love "they go slow so guys want them more"...how on earth would that work?!?! Ridiculous!!
katmandont 0
@138 That made my sides hurt - LOL
bezach 0
ikr? it's the thought that counts.
rb2_addict 0
WTF you live in antartica?
MightyMike2509 0
Paige you have amazing eyes lol :), and OP you fail for having a bf that takes you to Mickey D's haha. atleast he practices safe sex right!? so ur life isn't a complete fail.
tysta 0
93 when's the last time you turned down a girl because her shoes didn't match her earings?
ChrisCTL 0
#75 they are in wal-marts all over Canada.
StoryOfTheYear 15
172 sums up the whole solution to this fml
allan_069 0
bitch please!
twist_of_fame93 0
I'm still a virgin :(
Veunz 4
Who the hell spends that long getting ready? Even at my worst I'm ready in an hour or so... :/
mitsoi 0
I <3 you veunz... wish you were single!
srunano 4
93 either your pussy whooped or something is wrong with you because if my girlfriend takes 3 hours to get ready to go to a ******* dinner she better have the number to takeout because I sure as hell will not wait 3 hours.
srunano 4
My bad lunch...still applies to any time of day anyways
imbatman_fml 0
That's the worst part! 3 hours to get ready for lunch! I bet if he was meeting her for dinner shed need at least a day.
mylifeblows3232 3
so you were getting a double pounder?
jk98girl 0
it DOES NOT take all girls 3 hours to get ready, that is ridiculous, especially for lunch, maybe the oscars...
XCaLX_fml 0
#147 it makes me want them more and yes it does if u have to sit outside a resterant for 3 hours wen ur hungry rnt u gunna want it more as time passes
mellowjello22 0
who spend 3 hours getting ready?!!!!!
kristinaferens 0
doesn't that mean you get sex . . . ?
steph87_fml 0
it should never take three hours that's ridiculous
Brianaamariee 4
how romantic(:
mama2b3 20
mmm so he's thrifty and practical. score!
FernandoTorres_fml 0
By the sound of it, he's going to be preparing the dessert. And he didn't hold back on the cream!
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Was that joke too CHEESY? Omg LOL I can't stop! :(
JustinKingr 0
^^^win again^^^!!
karina_said 0
lmfao! @35
karina_said 0
25*
182crazyking 9
Epic multi-tasker is epic.
Luckster 0
He wasted his money on them condoms cause I don't think he's gonna use em tonight. I'm perfectly fine with going out to dinner at fast food, especially in this economy where a steakhouse dinner will set you back over a week, but it sounds like boyfriend made the OP think they were going somewhere really nice, only for that to happen.
thehelenlouiseee 5
it can't be that bad, so you went to maccy d's at least you have a boyfriend that cares about you enough not to get you pregnant or give you STDs
Luckster 0
Normally if I'm going to a McD's, I know I am, rather than being lead to believe I'm going somewhere nice. Then again, my boyfriend and I have good communication.
ImaginaryFoe 1
This was a lunch date and I think if OP's bf had led her to believe they were going somewhere fancy, she would've mentioned it to make the FML more interesting. I think this is more like, "Hey, sugar lumps, you wanna get lunch today?" "Sure. See you at 1."
Solkre 0
Three hours, were you sewing clothes?
thehelenlouiseee 5
I agree, I mean were you mixing your own makeup?
PsychoMerk 0
rofl xD
strandedinalimo 0
haha I like both of these comments.
koco4 0
I think she was literally putting on her face. I can understand if it was a first date, but not in a relationship. She just screams high maintenance.
lucyisbae 18
That would be cool if FML had some sort of button you could use to express that.
Jayms_fml 32
LMAO, good one. XD
txgirl09 5
Depends all on what happens after dinner that involves those condoms seems to be the determining factor in the FML-ness of this FML.
scratchy209 0
lol he would.
ninafea 0
At least he won't be unprotected and have an empty stomach!
DynamicDave 11
Tell him he won't be needing them
Gabbiegummies 4
hey better safe then sorry lol
iamchuck 0
He should have proposed, since you were all gussied up. Could have bought you the ring too.