Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
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Top comments
Kobwebs 19
If he's too embarrassed to buy condoms, he's definitely not ready for sex.
Wersome 13
Sorry Op but if either of you are too embarrassed to buy condoms then you are not ready for sex.
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Comments (177)
girlwithwings 6
I lost mine a week ago
fwongraven 10
Your sandwich bag? I wouldn't ask for it back.
pasupathymuthu 16
Congratulations. I wish you a very pleasurable sex life ahead.
smoothies14 32
Is that how you got your wings?
imbedderdenu 23
Doesn't sound like he's ready.
hoosiergirl94 31
How is using a sandwich bag not more embarrassing than using a condom?
nphill82 21
Balls too small to buy condoms, balls too small for sex.....
Dr_Alex 10
Suggest him to have sex with a lunch box.
dntbeadouche 25
If he/you cannot go to a store and buy condoms then it's a good possibility you guys aren't ready.
krazyelliot 14
Buy condoms with a birthday card so it seems that it's a gift, use the birthday card later for someone and use the condoms for yourself!
mwolop 9
This is a classic "you deserved it." Cuz you chose to date That Guy! Also... Hilarious!
ragnarok1540 39
By any chance did he tell you his "Bologna" is named Oscar Mayer . . .
Birdmad 12
When a guy doesn't want to buy condoms it doesn't always mean he's not ready for sex. In some cases some men just want to have sex without them. To be honest, condoms take away from the sensation when you're inside, but it's always smart have them around.
XXFMLXXQUEENXX 29
Okay, but that means the girl has to take the HUGE risk of getting pregnant when she doesn't want to be.