Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Involuntary
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Cranking
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Can't be bothered
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Bang one out
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Top comments
spitfire35 3
At least better than falling asleep while having sex. Oh wait, for that you'd need to be having sex.
itouchguy360 3
maybe you were just tired?
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Comments (66)
hartattack4k 0
FYD
cdawg4444 0
sounds like you whack it too much. you need a new hobby. or a girlfriend.
jpest17 5
duh everyone know it makes people tired! I do it sometimes to fall asleep.
waterynuggets 0
LMAO
iankennedy17 0
i'm with #6. go for it haha
brittany1013 0
that's just a bit sad..
lynsieloowho 0
go with the stranger
razz27 0
hahahaha holly shit ur sex drive sucks or ur **** does. maybe u shouldnt be jerking it when ur tired.
Dx2 0
tht sux..
perdix 31
So, did the bus driver wake you up at your stop, or did he drop you off at the police station and turn you in for indecent exposure?