Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
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Top comments
feldco1 17
Unless she has tried to tell you what to work on, it's really her fault. Communication is key with this stuff.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Well your username explains it quite a bit...
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Comments (89)
feldco1 17
Unless she has tried to tell you what to work on, it's really her fault. Communication is key with this stuff.
MrBurnard 7
I'm glad you said that, not everyone likes the same! Tell the other what you like, its so much better for the both of you
AKGirlinSD 20
Some men don't know when a woman is faking it. An example would be Elaine from Seinfeld. Either way, if the girl doesn't speak up then the guy isn't at fault.
YepThatsMeee 23
#42 yeah! Someone said that once in a sitcom 15 years ago so it must be true!
J_C_maldonado 9
Word!!!! That's a good point communication is always key
Akay4 14
That's bad man...You sir it was a yawn and not a breathless scream?
MuseFan1991 14
that's what i was thinking. not to be too graphic but i sometimes lose my breath and shout out stuff like 'oh god' while in the throes of passion. but then again a yawn is a pretty distinctive facial expression
mkcontrollers 11
Sick it in her butt! Teach the faker!!
7yzz 18
Really? Maybe it was a 'breathless' scream? Really?? Are people on FML getting that desperate to try and reassure the OP these days?
Albarufus 13
Well, she could always put some effort into it as well.
zandalee 20
True that. If she is making no effort at all, maybe she's just not that into you. ;)
Harpy20 24
Well clearly he's into her.
spatula232 25
In*
beachchick9498 5
At least she tried-nope, she didn't even try.
wlddog 14
Maybe he lacks the breadstick length.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Well your username explains it quite a bit...
GothickNihilist 15
Agreed one should try learning from their partners, rather than from ****. Communication is the key to an enjoyable sexual relationship. You can learn more from conversations with your lover,more than any porno. I hope that OP is reading these comments.
copo37 7
Time to turn your motor to rabbit mode. Even 3 inches can be hell when your going 90 mph.
firefighter925 18
not if it last a minute
RedPillSucks 33
Doesn't matter if it lasts a minute if she has two orgasms from it. Sex doesn't always have to do with the length of time. The problem is that most guys don't do foreplay and take a while to hit the "spot". If you know where you're going sometimes you can get her there faster. No need to dry her out in the process.
7yzz 18
Unless that 3 inches is bloody thick then it wont do anything, even at 90 mph. Will most likely just give the girl a painful burn.
hallow239 3
Haha! This comment has gotta be the best comment I've ever read on a Fml
DDCA 24
You better lick it before you stick.
whY402Jay 12
The wonderful world of ****.
littlemsweirdo 12
Read username.
firethief21 4
send her my way, ill make her happy ;)
adammeyer 4
Doubt it
CanCann 16
#14 - If you're so immature or your insecurity is so low that you have to reduce to hitting on random strangers online the chances are slim that you're good enough to get anything regularly enough to be sufficiently in practice; let alone able to satisfy. Stick with making your arm strong.