Today, my son no longer tries to sneak in and out of the house at inappropriate times. Now, he just brazenly walks out, ignoring me when I ask where he’s going, then walks back in at like 4 in the morning, and again ignores me because he’s still on his phone to someone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, my son has always been antisocial but ever since he bought his first house he has seemingly disappeared behind its walls, never lets anybody visit, and has broken off contact with everybody he knows. Were it not for his coworkers telling me he’s at work everyday, I’d think he was dead. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML
Today, my teen son came home in a terrible mood because his girlfriend won’t listen to him. I thought he meant conversation-wise, but he meant she refused to obey his commands about what clothes and makeup she wears, who she can talk to, where she can go, and so forth. My son is an asshole. FML
Today, I had to ban my teenage son from taking his phone into the bathroom, not because he looks at porn, but because he’s so engrossed in the screen, he doesn’t aim while he pees all over the seat and sometimes the floor, without cleaning it up. He’s not incapable, just fucking lazy. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I caught my son sneaking a woman out of his room at 5 a.m. After she was gone, I started with the questions, one of which was, “Well, what’s her name?” His response was, “No idea, I only met her last week.” I’ve raised one of “those guys.” FML
Today, my youngest son got lost while shopping. I was frantic, but my oldest son didn’t care, his opinion seemed to be "Who cares?" and "Quick, let’s leave before he turns up." He didn’t even unplug his earphones or look up from his phone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Michael Sawyer 11
YDI. if said child in under age then EVERYTHING he is doing is falling on YOU. Why are you not punishing said child for his actions. If said child is over 18 there is not much you can really do beyond making him move out as he is an adult.
Levi2411 41
And there's no consequences?? Is age a factor here or? I'm confused on why there hasn't been any behavior correction.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (11)
Levi2411 41
And there's no consequences?? Is age a factor here or? I'm confused on why there hasn't been any behavior correction.
Michael Sawyer 11
YDI. if said child in under age then EVERYTHING he is doing is falling on YOU. Why are you not punishing said child for his actions. If said child is over 18 there is not much you can really do beyond making him move out as he is an adult.
mike3775 39
YDI. Regardless if he is an adult, you raised him to be that way. None of my kids would ever dare do that to me because I taught them better and they also know I will simply lock them out and set the alarm, forcing them to sleep on the enclosed porch for the night (or in their vehicles if I locked the porch door also, which I have never had to do) I have underage and adult kids living at home, they all know to at least text me when they will be home.
nammavic1 12
I wish a child of mine would have done this triflin ass shit...
Chazzster 32
It depends on the age of your son. If he is a minor then you should have learned that yelling at him is useless - There have to be consequences for breaking house rules. If son is an adult, his life is no longer under your control. While you can still insist on him following house rules when he’s there or moving out, you don’t control what he does outside the home.
lateralligator 12
time to change the locks
bleachedraven 14
Cut your ties if he's rude
Warp1978 15
Cut off his phone (I'm assuming you pay for it) change the WiFi password or scrap it and get a large data plan. Double lock your phone so he can't access it. Keep your cards and cash on you or with someone you totally trust. Sit him down and set some HARD limits regading his behaviour. Or just let him go, he's a big boy now and can take care of himself.
phybreawptic 13
Why parent when you can complain about him on the internet?