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FMyLife
hjkashld United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

207

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

kzxvazure 0

just say no....

HSOMGF 5

That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.

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Comments (207)

fuckmebutdontfml 16

:O why would you ever turn down the sweet nectar of life with a lie!?!

Ruffclue 9

Next thing you see you cheating on her. Its all downhill frm here.

fuckmebutdontfml 16

or what would actually make more sense, she starts cheating on him because of lack of sexual attention...

PrincessPesa 20

...And at the climax of this epic romantic fiasco, everyone eventually rubs their **** parts on someone else, then some other stuff happens. The End. This has been an FML production Brought to you by failed relationships everywhere and by commenters like you.

mk58 31

"**** parts"? Really?

PrincessPesa 20

Yes really. Would you prefer genitalia? Sex organs? Does that make it more palatable? Cheating never sounds pretty, no matter what euphemisms you use to describe the act.

PeIio 4

:( why? Does she not do a good "job"?

wlddog 14

I'm confused....... My wife is a stay at home mom and I pay all the bills. I still screw her brains out at times and others I say no. How does this have anything to do with her not working outside the home? That's how life used to be. People didn't need two jobs to keep up with the people next door. Even we first got married and had no money we screwed like rabbits. I'm thinking your priorities are a little out of balance.

thiscrazything 1

I think the "job" 14 was referring to had nothing to do with working anywhere.

Azail 15

-watches the sarcasm fly right over 87s head

TheFirstSamurai 18

I like how 82 just told his whole life story.

twisted_cherub 14

82- I completely agree with what you said, even though it had nothing to do with what 14 was talking about.

wlddog 14

It's a simple existence 130. One that has given me three great kids.

PrincessPesa 20

So what's the real reason, OP? Tired, not in the mood, you have a side piece...? Or maybe your wife is just a tyrannical sex dictator who won't take no for an answer? Give it up, bucko!! The sex and the info. Ha HA!! But no really, good luck with all that. Couples counseling is...an activity you can share?

jay75euro 0

Seem u know allot? Come to NY n I show you something. Ha ha

CursedSilent 1

Wow and with a response like that, she needn't come to NY for your amazing know all cause I'm sure she wouldn't be missing much.

stormer461 13

To everyone saying "wow a guy refusing sex" sometimes you're just not in the mood. I can't use sex as an example in my life, but I like video games. Sometimes I don't feel like playing video games. Same thing can apply to other activities, such as sex.

alstbv12 13

Did you really just compare sex to video games?

wlddog 14

If only sex was more like video games. You can swap games and no one gets sick from it. You can look up helpful hints online and they actually work. You can get hacks to "Finish" your level as fast as possible. You can play the game over and over as fast as you want. Video games never say no. You can have more than one game at once and the game doesn't get upset. You can sell your used games. You can always get another game. If your game messes up you can trade it in for a replacement. Games have a warranty. Games only require you to spend money once. (most of them) Games have save points. Games encourage competing with your friends. Games increase hand eye coordination. Games can be played in public. Games come with manuals. Games can be put up. Games have a mute button. Games don't wreck your car. I think my wife is gonna kill me now. Or trade me in for an upgrade.

Gencade 0

Sounds like my right hand

iseedeadpeople7 3

84- So much WIN lmao

PawnShopPenguin 4

Today, my husband said he had "back pains" to get out if having sex with me. I'm starting to rethink my marriage. FML

iSpasticFantasti 14

Huh, the fact that this is an FML must mean that you're really not enjoying your sex life and it wasn't just a 'don't really feel like it' (assuming a man thinks about anything other than sex, god forbid us girls have faith in the opposite sex to be anything but shallow). Try talking to her about it, tread lightly though she could get really offended, try not to just be negative. To anyone who can't read, the stuff in the brackets isn't meant to be rude, but on most sex related FMLs like this women seem to have a pretty low opinion of men. Maybe I'm just young and hopeful but I like to think you're NOT all dirtbags by default because of your gender, not the opposite way round.

iSpasticFantasti 14

#112 You really don't get it do you? I added a note, don't understand it? Too bad.

rogerover 19

Just because men are way more obsessed with sex than women doesn't mean we're shallow. It can be a very profound way to connect with the person you love. Not just "bumping uglies".

gracehi 33

Is that the same excuse you give to get out of yard work?

ImYoursAlways 3

Come out of the closet already, OP.

kkillaj 5

34 a lot of gay men had wives look at Salvador Dali he was said to be gay but he married. But I have to agree jumping to the conclusion of OP being gay because he turned down sex is pretty immature.

Candice0687 0

Um... Isn't it usually the other around, isn't your wife suppose to fake not feeling I normally don't hear men doing that

PrincessPesa 20

Nobody's supposeD to do any of that.