Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Actor's Studio
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I suck
Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Pull yourself together
Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML
Fake it til you make it
Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Ouchie
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Deception
Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML
Top comments
kzxvazure 0
just say no....
HSOMGF 5
That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.
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Comments (207)
L3g4lPl4typus 0
...why?
life_lol 0
Are you gay
hereinnc 12
Why wouldn't you have just told her you were not in the mood? Marriages should be based on open communication. There is NOTHING wrong with sometimes not being the mood. There is no rule that you must be ready to pounce at all times no matter what. While I do have a very high sex drive I can tell you after a 15 hour work day and deal with cranky kids sometimes the last thing I want to do is that I expect my partner to be understanding of that. You should as well.
CursedSilent 1
Being the wife with a much greater sex drive than my husband's, I understand this. For all we know, they just had sex, showered, she took care of herself and then wanted him yet again. It happens and I can see needing to feign an excuse.
blackvyper 8
Let someone else take over.
merko 8
You gay or something?? Wtf? who backs outta sex??
Zomg_Okay 27
You have a lot to learn, young Padawan.
masnosmas 3
Time To stop buying very expensive wine. Or Start leaving boones farm around the house and stash the expensive stuff
uzee 29
Tell me your adress, I'll come to replace you for that part :D
martini47 12
What's wrong with you?!
esmrys 3
You also faked an FML.