Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Actor's Studio
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I suck
Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Pull yourself together
Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML
Fake it til you make it
Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Ouchie
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Deception
Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML
Top comments
kzxvazure 0
just say no....
HSOMGF 5
That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.
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Comments (207)
TrentF13 12
Don't listen to them! Saying "no" will get you castrated!!! Find another way! Like feigning sleep nearly immediately after getting into bed, or laughing when she asks for it and saying you're tired. Or - and this is the kicker - don't listen to ANYBODY and handle it like you think you should! :F
HooHooHa 6
But what if she wants to give you oral instead?
Liiam_fml 3
As if you would.
armygurl18 9
Im just saying that that is horrible. Normally you guys get mad when we say no so now your tryin to get out of it when it could possibly be the only time you have sex in a while, well that just sucks to be you
fuckmebutdontfml 16
*OP gets home* their are candles all over the place wife in sexy outfit, OP: honey this is wonderful but I hurt my back at work, OP's wife: Oooh baby *pouts* but I can be on top, OP: now that I think about it my back wasn't the only thing hurt I accidentally hit my balls with a hammer
mintcar 10
WTF? Why would you fake an illness just to get out of sex? Ever thought maybe you should just tell her the problem?
Pandacupcakelove 26
FHL!
perdix 31
Maybe your wife is a real pain in the ass, so technically you are not faking ;)
guill32 3
Must be gay
Wtfeezy 5
I think your gay!
KiddNYC1O 22
His gay what??!!