Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML
Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, after my boyfriend had been away for months, I invited him over to have sex. He said he hurt his back too badly to do anything. Don't worry though, it doesn't hurt enough to stop him from working on his truck for several hours. FML
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Zigstyle308 18
Take the pain pills and forget about sex, just rest.
carecow 16
That's a selfish partner you should reconsider spending your life with.
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Comments (72)
ThoranSlock 13
Ouch
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
What a touching comment... I don't think I'll ever look at life the same.
meliodafool_ 15
The sarcasm is tangible
Sheepalicious 20
What an uncaring dick!
Zigstyle308 18
Take the pain pills and forget about sex, just rest.
incoherentrmblr 22
Well, it wasn't Rohypnol, but it's close enough...
Charity Taylor 17
This. This is the proper response. Also, that partner has some issues if they can even consider trying to do that when you're in so much pain.
Wizardo 34
Looks like he wants to slip into your DMs if you get my drift...
EvilTurtle 35
Wtf is a DMs
Wizardo 34
Direct Messages, there's jokes about it everywhere but alas, the joke is ruined.
randompizzaguy 17
It's a twitter thing. That being said he used the joke in a completely and utterly incorrect way.
Retaheki 27
And it's slide into my DMs, not slip into your DMs.
xsydneyx123 28
The joke was ruined the moment you said it..
carecow 16
That's a selfish partner you should reconsider spending your life with.
little_one 20
Although if OP regularly turns he husband down it could have a negative effect. He may even think she's faking it so she doesn't have to have sex with him. Just a thought.
JLDork 11
if OP regularly turns him down, he'd havr to be one hell of an idiot to say yes when she's in pain. no, he's just selfish and uncaring.
tacopandaroo 12
You should only have sex with someone when you're feeling it, not just to make them happy. If she's turning him down regularly, they should talk about it. He shouldn't go straight to guilt-tripping her.
little_one 20
In the post it mentions his recent surgery it could very well have been a long time since they slept together. From a MARRIED stand point it's not an FML often there can be times when you're not in sync he wants it but she has a headache, she wants it but he's tired etc. Instead of posting on here chastising her husband for wanting her, she could just as easily say sorry hunny I love you but not tonight. Married couples can go months or years without intimacy, why do think there are so many unhappy couples? Yes he picked the wrong time, yes he went about it the wrong way. He could be desperate and feel unwanted... But sure hate the bastard...
marcelmg 10
Take also a sleepingpill, so you can combine it with some rest. This is the best for both!
lex1459 38
Mixing pills is a good idea to you?
Brandi_Faith 34
There are some pills that can easily be mixed. Although it's never a good idea to take a heavy painkiller such as a narcotic, with a sedative. However if it was something like advil (which I doubt) then a sedative could be taken with it. Always best to ask a doctor or phone the pharmacist to see what meds can be taken together. 6, if op is taking a narcotic then she won't need a sedative because the pill will most likely knock her right out anyways. :)
llalala_fml 19
I really hope you aren't implying marital rape with that "best for both" comment, #6.
swanheart 35
He's a keeper!
PurpleSprite 7
Why is this being down voted? Does anybody know what sarcasm is?
lex1459 38
I hope you took it and went dt right to sleep. That would show him for being such an asshole to his wife. Feel better, OP!
pooldude 24
oh the height of insensitivity!
Sethan01 24
Sounds like a guy.
Pandacupcakelove 26
No, it sounds like a jerk. Not all guys are jerks and not all jerks are guys.
Retaheki 27
Yeah, it sounds like a guy, because OP said "he." Being a guy has nothing to do with this, he could've been a girl who wanted some, but her husband was in pain.