Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML
Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML
Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
Connect 10
You should see opportunity here. Set up a condom stand in the hallway.
nickjam19 5
Call the cops on them when they're in "business".
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Comments (110)
kemando 22
911 what's your emergency?
trollburger_fml 4
You should respect one of the oldest professions of this world, or you should just move out of the ghetto.
DasHaas 9
Drop by and ask your neigbour for some sugar.
samasara 20
I would totally do that! Nonchalantly of course.
mosquito19 14
pimps are scum of the earth
AgentSmith79 9
Sounds like the sentiments of a former working girl...
NickaPLZ 26
Trust me, there's worse out there. For example the Twilight author.
sinner92 4
Not that I'm saying it's okay. Personally I (as should other women) have pride, dignity, and respect for myself but the fact of the matter is is that being a prostitute is one of the oldest careers in human history. In my opinion to each is own and if that's her personal decision and so it is. Just stay your course and you should be fine.
samasara 20
Unless it interferes with OP's life, there's nothing really to worry about.
sinner92 4
Lol I don't see how it interferes. She lives above her. In quite irony I should say also that she is above her in a metaphoric way. The day one of the prostitutes clients come and advance on her is the day it interferes.
Acik91 26
Well, OP may also hear all kinds of noises, including screaming and moaning; I would call it interference as well.
sinner92 4
Lol come on like we all haven't made some noise. I try not to judge other people's space. Unless the noises are that of violence then it's none of my concern.
DanielleinDC 34
#53-Of course, it's going to interfere! OP will have to put up with the noise from patrons, with the noise from the apartment, possibly with used condoms being strewn in the common areas or sidewalks, with patrons hassling her (assuming OP is a her) as she walks to and from her apartment during "business hours". Besides, would you want to live upstairs from a prostitution ring? Call the damn cops, OP.
sinner92 4
In this day and age you probably do live near one. There are ***** houses even in the nicest of areas. I'm not saying not to do something I'm just saying there are more trivial things in life to worry about then other people selling themselves.
SillyGirl4602 23
79- I can be wrong but I think you mean there are more important things to worry about. Trivial means something having very little importance or value.
tenfiftynine 12
OP's apartment may be big and really nice. So there's a chance OP has or wants kids. If so, you wouldn't want your children anywhere near this. When I lived with my mother we lived in an apartment and we had a downstairs neighbor kinda like this. Our apartment was huge ( it had 4 bedrooms) so clearly there IS a possibility.
sinner92 4
That's exactly what I mean. To focus on others faults when you have your own is silly to me. There are less important things people need to worry about in their lives then to turn around and focus on someone else's problem.
Enslaved 38
Flyguy: My bitch better have my money. Through rain, sleet, or snow. My ***** better have my money. Not half, not some, but all my cash. 'Cause if she don't, I'm gonna put my foot in her ass. ***Gotta love the Wayans brothers. (:
samasara 20
how did you discover that...?
SirCharles83 13
Gators bitches best be wearing jimmies.
AgentSmith79 9
I've never understood why prostitution is illegal. Why is it illegal to sell something that is perfectly legal to give away for free??
Benchyface 11
Because many of those girls aren't doing if out of free will, but threatened to do so. Because of the STDs they might get. Because many girls get PTSD from it and never recover enough to get a proper job. All in all, women deserve a better life than being used by the misogynist pigs that control them. When sex is free its usually because the woman has consented to it, unless it's just pure rape.
EvilUndead 9
31, as long as they aren't forced into it. That's important point.
EvilUndead 9
34, As long as there's demand, there will be an offer. You're too quick to blame misogyny for everything. There are female pimps and male prostitutes, you know. Also nobody "deserves" anything. People choose their own path. I believe that as long as people aren't forced into particular choice, they can be whatever they decided to be.
AgentSmith79 9
I wasn't referring to situations where a girl is coerced. That breaks a few other laws and morality issues. But I don't see why exchanging money (or other things of value) for sex is illegal in and of itself. Personally, paying for sex would take all the spontaneity and fun out of it, but for some people it's a win win. They get off, and the girl pays her bills. So why is THAT illegal?
AgentSmith79 9
And it's worth noting, you don't have to be a prostitute to contract and STD.
EvilUndead 9
65, that's purely moral issue. Moral values vary across countries, they are based on tradition, and frequently make no sense. Sometimes, law is based on most popular moral values. For example, in some countries pornography is illegal. In some other countries prostitution is legal. If you're in USA, then wikipedia says that prostitution is legal in some counties of Nevada, but I do not know whether this is true or not.
thestig 4
Exactly. And if you think about it, you almost always pay for it. It's never really free. If you go on a date, you buy dinner, drinks, etc and you may get lucky. If you're married, you buy jewelry, spend time, etc. So you always pay for it in some way or another. And besides, it's the oldest profession in the world. As long as no one is being forced, it should be all good.
ColdplaySucks 18
65 How are they to decide when or when it's not coerced. The victims might be black mailed or threatened if they don't keep their mouths shut about it. It's illegal and rightfullly so.
perdix 31
Good thing you corrected yourself -- she's just an employee. Support your local merchants ;)