Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML
Today, police barged into my apartment for a drug raid, but they had the wrong address. They came in while I was naked on my couch and didn't even apologize for breaking my door. FML
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML
Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, I found out my last roommate had been stacking her empty wine bottles under the sink for the last 5 months. The cleaning lady who found them now thinks I'm an alcoholic, and threatened to report me to my landlord. FML
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Top comments
luvlu444 24
And to think she had the audacity to not offer u any...
Hutchie931 15
Sorry to hear that OP I think you go pretty screwed but make some contacts in Jail and get them to 'pay her a visit' if you know what I mean
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Comments (15)
Hutchie931 15
Sorry to hear that OP I think you go pretty screwed but make some contacts in Jail and get them to 'pay her a visit' if you know what I mean
luvlu444 24
And to think she had the audacity to not offer u any...
Binglebeee 16
well, I can only hope your friend isn't a complete asshole and truthfully denies your involvement. If she tries to drop the blame on you to get off scott free then you either need a dam good lawyer or start learning how to make shivs
Lalala579121 28
I don't think dam lawyers would do very well on a drug case.
vicfirthfan 11
I broke the dam
MamaChey 24
Hehe. Those who dislikes the broken dam comment obviously didn't get it. Perhaps they can't spell either (or smell ether, lol)
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I think dam lawyers would be excellent. They'd block the case in court, drown the prosecution in paperwork and generate an electric presence in the courtroom.
mcethan 5
why the **** do people get disliked on fml for the most low key shot? On reddit, someone can get gold for making a child molestation joke. and on here, someone gets disliked the hell out if them for saying the most mundane shit.
Binglebeee 16
I do find it strange that a community and a site/app based entirely on schadenfreude is so sensative when it comes to commenting. I mean, the first comment I ever made was berated by several other users because they didn't like the wording, even though it was a positive response to the OP
allie2590 31
It's always been like this. It's really annoying.
Sadat10 12
Bern on this site for sime months. Its true what you say. My first comment.
takeittoem 8
Damn, OP - your roommate is a strong contender for "Worst Roommate Ever". Hope you have a good lawyer...
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
This is FML. She probably doesn't even rate top 10.
momogal 22
I'm assuming you didn't have to sit in jail since you were able to post this. Hopefully, they don't bring any charges against you. Same thing happened to a couple friends of (minus the whole getting arrested naked thing). No charges were filed, but they still lost custody of their kids even though they had no clue their roomie was a dealer.
LatterDaySaint 12
They lost custody of their kids because of the roommate dealing drugs? That's messed up man, faulty judicial system..
RichardPencil 32
And all this time, you could've been buying from her! And hopefully getting a discount -- drugs are expensive.
DarkStorm2Bad 14
You have the right to remain soapy?
Etweens96 25
Jeez, I'm sorry to hear about this OP, I hope your roommate cleared this situation up for you.
wreckdit 29
Hey, everyone! Obviously I'm not in jail, because I was able to post this, but my roommate did NOT clear things up. We aren't friends, so she thought it wasn't any of my business what she kept in her room. It was pretty clear to everyone involved that I wasn't a dealer, so they let me go after a few hours. In the time that I was in custody, though, my neighbor told everyone what happened, so my roomie ran off with my car. They still arrested her, but now my car is evidence. It's also totalled.
KingKralj 31
Sheesh, you have some bad luck! Happy to see you were ok, tho :)
RichardPencil 32
Just think of it this way: you found out about your roommate's job via law enforcement (the good guys, mostly). Imagine if you were invaded by the criminal elements involved in the drug trade. Glad you're ok
Steephx0 23
Must be some pretty serious drugs for them to bust in your apartment like that - was she selling like meth or what?!
Studious_Gluteus 20
Police will gladly tear apart a person's home & life for as little as a cannabis plant.
Namenlos_fml 20
Sorry to hear about your car, but at least you're not caught up in the drug charges anymore. The car would be no use to you in jail.
polsen4273 8
Wow. I guess youre next roommate will have a through interveiw.
MamaChey 24
I'll bet it'll be a thorough interview, too!
SixthSinEnvy 39
May the biggest bitch in jail make your roommate her bitch. I'd start selling her personal affects to pay for all the damage to the apartment and the down payment on a new car.
Zebediabolical 45
If it's on consignment, the criminal element will kick in the door later.when the roomie can't come up with the money to cover the package.
KittieTetaz520 15
Just not the drugs lol.
CliffyB03 28
I'm guessing "I was holding it for a friend" didn't go so well for you