Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
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Top comments
Free4ever 6
Your milkshake brings all the customers to the dealership?
Volcan_fml 22
If you've got it, flaunt it.
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Comments (46)
Free4ever 6
Your milkshake brings all the customers to the dealership?
TrueTriage 16
And they're like, it's time to buy cars!
SApprentice 34
Damn right, they've all got four doors I could teach you But they're turbocharged
TicTacMat 3
If you want it, it drives them crazy! If you want it, milk those ladies!
Volcan_fml 22
If you've got it, flaunt it.
MelTheGreat 23
If you've got it and you're a guy, that's just nasty.
SApprentice 34
20- Why are guys not allowed to have it?
igive 29
Because I don't think I've heard a girl say "look at those moobs! That guy has a nice set!"
MelTheGreat 23
I'm not saying you shouldn't flaunt it, but most girls don't find that too appealing.
EsotericBrent 29
it doesn't have to be moobs that you flaunt ^.^
insertnameherr 11
Are you kidding? Moobs are the best. It's so awesome when they're majestically bouncing in the wind while attached to an out of shape jogger!
annie_nk 23
I wouldn't be surprised if he sold him a car with weak shocks.
Gunnie 24
I was kind of disgusted by the FML, untiI read the last sentence. Then it was hilarious xD
OhDearBetrayal 25
Yay sexism! Remember kids, it's a heinous crime to mess with a woman's body, but as long as it's a males then it is socially acceptable.
Gunnie 24
Then why would it matter at all? Why would OP put his gender if it shouldn't have mattered?
OhDearBetrayal 25
16- Usually woman's breasts are objectified sexually and are therefore more likely to be harassed, but the reason why the OP being male was mentioned in this FML is because the objectification was based on embarrassment. Either way, a mans breasts should not have to face such molestation. Equal protection to all breasts! That's my motto.
Gunnie 24
Ok I agree :)
Carmstro 13
I wouldn't say molestation. The customer probably was doing it out of amusement, not sexual pleasure, if that's what their intent was. I don't know a lot of gay men that are into breasts (I'm sure there are chubby chasers, just chances are it was amusement).
Zeurakules 5
Get a sports bra
Sandsh8rk 36
At least you got a sale.
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
Well that's rather awkward, congrats on selling a car though!
SApprentice 34
Work it, sweetie. You just made a sell, right? Plenty of people like a guy who can rock his boobies. Embrace it. Take it as a compliment. You can go far, my friend.
SonOfAMitch 14
Wiggle it... just a little bit! *whoop whoop*
Connect 10
Nothing wrong with a nice set of moobs.