Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML
Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML
Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
Connect 10
You should see opportunity here. Set up a condom stand in the hallway.
nickjam19 5
Call the cops on them when they're in "business".
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Comments (110)
nickjam19 5
Call the cops on them when they're in "business".
ocramavaf 15
how would op prove the facts tought? Why not just ask for a cut of the profits in exchange for silence?
alan831 9
Oh, probably because pimps kill those kind of people.
ocramavaf 15
well not necessarily, why go down for murder instead of just sponsoring prostitution or whatever the offence is called wherever op lives
Tolarie 13
Don't you mean during their "business hours"? ;D okay, bad joke is bad. I'm out.
ManInTheMachine 20
*business minutes ...or minute, it depends. ;)
sens3sfailing 25
whats the rate for 10 seconds? umm, im asking for a friend...I swear...
PinkKawaiiChic 10
No one likes snitches.
Trickiest_K 9
Maybe you should head down and investigate, for you know, "research" ;)
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
Ew... She's a hooker. What if she has an STD or something? XP
Joe9024 20
Um wear a condom?? What's the difference between a hooker and a ONS..?
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
Yeah, but I feel like your body (man or woman) should be more like a sacred temple, not the drive thru at McDonalds.
LovesSushi 25
Does that mean you get the friends and family discount?
MRVOlivia 22
sure hope so!
Mideoyeo 12
Report them to your building superintendent, but if it's not directly bothering you then you could just leave it alone.
annie_nk 23
It's still illegal. And needs to be reported.
SonOfAMitch 14
Watch out, OP! You might get pimp slapped!
Connect 10
You should see opportunity here. Set up a condom stand in the hallway.
sirpantselot 22
You, sir, will go far in the modern world.
evig_fml 16
I would set up some cameras and start up a new film company. I'd name it..."$50 for the night"
igetitincum2win 11
your stand would have came in handy last night : )
PandaSmile 24
Maybe offer chlamydia tests with purchase?
MissMess 12
16 just made me gag on my coffee. Yuck.
VorpikeII 17
Or pregnancy tests. Those also work. Just have an all in one stand. Condoms, Chlamydia tests, and pregnancy tests, along with whatever else you may want to add. Even T-Shirts!
gc327072 31
14- name the company DTF productions. (down to fap)
igetitincum2win 11
#29 promotion of safe sex is what i was thinking.that prolly didn't come across to well.
verkaderk 9
Neither did that 69... ;)
SillyGirl4602 23
Probably not prolly.
oj101 33
Well, you know where to turn to if you're ever out of a job, and need some quick cash. But seriously, FYL.
guitarbeast 22
She will not only get a job, but give a job
tp50141 10
I literally just went through the same experience about two hours ago, OP. Cops busted her as I was moving into my "new home"
igetitincum2win 11
pimps up hoes down
imepelepticsir 5
Face down ass up. See your logic?
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
Honestly 33, what did you expect from someone whose user name is, "I get it in, cum to win"?
insertnameherr 11
I'm sorry, but I have failed to understand what message you are trying to get across.
jwa2000 3
I read the name with comma over one word, "I get it in Cum, to win."
SirCharles83 13
I think "imawhore" must have been taken.
bhai33 9
Well then get some discounted service ;)