Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Gassy
Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Noise complaint
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
Rude awakening
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Top comments
skippydoda 32
Sounds like sleep apnea. Go see a sleep doctor and get the sleep machine. My mom finally got one and it makes a world of difference.
TCRII 30
So. What’s the problem?
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
He wants to make sure you can hear it. Gives you a few second to spray some air freshener before the stink reaches your nose.
skippydoda 32
Sounds like sleep apnea. Go see a sleep doctor and get the sleep machine. My mom finally got one and it makes a world of difference.
RichardPencil 32
Wouldn’t a butt plug be much cheaper?
bloopaloop 27
Are you big spoon?
TCRII 30
So. What’s the problem?
ViviMage 40
It's amazing how the two are connected like that!
AmbrosiaFan 19
Did he get tested for sleep apnea?