Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I don't blame you. Spiders are terrifying.
AGhost5445 25
Your dad is a brave man.
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Comments (155)
jarockstar27 10
Those things are no joke! That type of spider with one bite kills the skin cells and turns them black:/ yeah i cant blame you OP
TommyToes414 6
Don't blame you those things are not to be messed with.... My mom was but by one and it was nasty
green2go 14
"She was but by one" lmfao
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Don't blame you. There isn't an antidote for a brown recluse bite. I mean, unless you can sneak it over the border from Mexico...
xoxbecca 5
They are all over my apartment all the time. They drive me crazy!
kmerritt10 6
On infested some guy got bit by one and there ended up being a nesting of brown recluse spiders
Nyahko 16
solution can of wd40 and a lighter you spray the spider and it's web/nest with the wd40 then you use the lighter
cjo_4592 3
It amazes me that women can pour hot wax on their bodies to remove unwanted hairs, and rip it off. And still be complete pansies when they see a spider. I know the brown recluse is poisonous but chill out OP. don't bother it it won't bother you. I would laugh too.
Quest_ 13
YOU STOLE THAT FROM SEINFELD YOU MONSTER. Anyway, in this case, I don't think a spider that can cause necrosis/death is in the same league of fear as waxing your legs.
BusinessTurtle 8
Perhaps she's not only worried about herself but about her kittens who would probably try to kill it and get bitten in the process. But yes, poisonous is an understatement. These things can make your skin rot.
KiddNYC1O 22
68- you're right, though. They really don't attack unless provoked. But still, I wouldn't want one in my vicinity...
NotSpiderman 1
Ugh. Waxing. Can't stand that. I'm not a pansy about spiders- usually. I'm the one who says not to kill it when my friends or siblings freak out over it, and instead take it outside. But a potentially toxic spider slightly larger than a quarter? No way. I will sacrifice my dignity to admit that. Oh, and I've seen grown men shriek over little house spiders, so women aren't the only ones. ;)
NotSpiderman 1
Correct! Glad someone got my meaning- I mean, I don't want to get bitten- but it's really my far too curious pets that I worry about. I hope that the thing just moves outside- I don't really want to kill the thing. Well, this is my last comment for tonight- interesting to reply to people's responses! I have not seen even a glimpse of a leg since this morning, and I hope its settled down somewhere else- or died peacefully. My dad is still walking around barefoot and laughing whenever someone says the word spider though...who knows, maybe I'll be driving him to the hospital tomorrow. :/
peachesncreem 21
That's my plan when I have kids. Mess with them at every opportunity I get :D
DohIMissed 6
I'll just ignore it if I was you. It attacks you only if you bother it.
WatsonIsThatDood 6
Really? Just Really? Try a camel spider
Agrith 19
Brown recluse spiders can kill you. Camel spiders are non venomous.