Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Adapt, improvise, overcome
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Hidden
Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML
Freaked
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Juicy breakfast
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I don't blame you. Spiders are terrifying.
AGhost5445 25
Your dad is a brave man.
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Comments (155)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I don't blame you. Spiders are terrifying.
philipino 24
Well, yes, but brown recluse spiders are especially horrible because of their venom. It doesn't end up like normal spiders' bites, but it just about completely rots the part of the body that it bit you in.
Krajjan 9
Though I'd rather have a Brown Recluse bite me than a Black Widow. While it's true that healthy adults usually don't die from Black Widow venom, it really really ******* sucks for what seems like eternity. Better to get the bite cut out and pack that bitch with some gauze. Never again will I vomit fire. Never again.
PleaseStayChill 9
Death to all of those 8-legged Hellspawn bastards. I'm going to officially vow right now that, if I ever get an opportunity to make one wish, I will wish all of those poisonous, irritating monsters will stop bothering us.. PleaseStayChill for president.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
Set the whole house on fire. It's the only way to be sure.
CrewBoy 10
PleaseStayChill. If you ever got a wish the entire ecosystem would be doomed.
dashizam 10
Ah but 40 didn't wish them out of existence, just to stop bothering us. Therefore they would live and help the ecosystem, but not touch us.
dashizam 10
Damn you autocorrect.
KatjaM 15
The only animals that serve no purpose on Earth are roaches. Those things were created from the depths of hell!!
kmerritt10 6
Actually roaches are scavengers and eat the flesh of dead animals helping the decaying process which also gives them many of viruses the things such as mice will feed off them and spread to these animals and will kill them off to stop over population
WritingWrongs 8
And a brown recluse at that! You either need to find that little bugger or move out!
mduffy08 8
KILL IT WITH FIRE
azndecoy 2
I believe the pest everyone can agree on is those pesky Mosquitos..
capper44 18
I donno anything about spiders, but one thing that amaze me is that a girl can have hot burning wax on her thighs and get her hairs pulled from roots, without any fear. However still scared of spider and spider bite. Nice ;) lol
MmissyT 8
Oh god, OP, I would do the same thing! I hate all spiders, but I've heard those ones are like really bad... and by the way, your dad sucks! :P (no offense)
OhMinty 5
That sucks OP try to calm down if you can. Good luck
happle 21
Do you know what a brown recluse's bite can do? I'd be freaked out too if I were OP.
Kahuna382000 2
The brown recluse is one of the moody dangerous spiders in the world.
happyevil 10
All I can say is good luck getting to sleep
AGhost5445 25
Your dad is a brave man.
Inheritance 10
Till he's bitten of course.
KingCeltic77 18
He's a foolish man.
spekledworf 18
Or a total idiot. had to reply because I love your pic ;)
Durdanya 13
The term is "jackass", if we're connecting to the picture. Jeez, get it right. Jackass. Still, terrifying. I hope you brutally murdered that spider.
lissa_jade 22
yuck, don't blame you at all. and when that spider reappears, you capture it and put it in your dads underwear drawer. when you hear screaming and things breaking, you'll have your revenge.
feldco1 17
Yeah no the only spider I'm touching is a dead one and that's only when I'm absolutely sure it is.
lissa_jade 22
oh, I'm totally with you ! i didn't mean it had to be alive. plus those things are really dangerous if they bite you. just squash the crap out of it and stick it in his drawer.
buck33 14
4 - this would maybe be funny with a normal, essentially harmless spider, but brown recluses are bad. Its venom makes your skin rot and just waste away.
CrewBoy 10
^ I love statements like that. They are based upon no scientific research but instead based upon what you read on the Internet.
gc327072 31
70- lol, me too. All those things appeal to the "omg das so scarry" kind of person. "My momma always said, stupid is as stupid does."
Driveshaft 5
No-one is saying those pictures are fake, however, that does not make their venom the equal of rattle snake and black widow combined...which is what you stated. You also stated that they (brown recluse) are not aggressive, which is true in the case that they will not actively seek you out to bite you. While they will not hunt you, they will bite and run if you get anywhere near them, then you can add your own pics to those already abundant on the web. Pun intended.
CrewBoy 10
Edit: I was beaten to the punch. Thanks Homie. Oh and 101. It would be Potency not "Strongness"...
JayBear14 11
There more likely to even run first instead of bite. Theres tons of them down at this wood warehouse i used to go to. I've been bit plenty of times, and there really isn't much to worry about it you get them taken care of. Then again i was told once that the venom does effect people differently, kind of like bee stings. Some people have different reactions to the venom.
chell1894 13
Smart idea.. If op wants to kill their dad..
chell1894 13
They truly do not bite often. The only times they ever bite is when someone physically touches them (usually accidentally) they try to stay far away from humans. Now banana spiders those little bastards are aggressive and very deadly. I learned that through animal planet.. Not the Internet
jamescrazy96 17
You know that's a deadly spider, right?
Richtofen115 16
Do you even know what a bite from one of those spiders does to you? I bet if you did you wouldn't be telling someone to basically give their dad a spider bite.
CrewBoy 10
Chill out, it's a brown recluse. You'll never see that ****** again.
Imabau5lol 7
Those things are pretty darn scary... Just saying
TheRealRCP 0
Those are poisonous.
CrewBoy 10
No shit. And if you knew anything about the spiders, you realize that they kinda like to be left alone. Hence my comment.
Link5794 18
Also hence the word "recluse" being in their name.
Meettitan 14
I was thinking the same thing. Spiders aren't really scary and usually only bite when actually touched. I guess you wouldn't want the cats playing with them, but I wouldn't worry much. Just kill it if you see it.
SurfSnowSkate7 7
Brown recluse spiders are pretty bad. A few years ago someone who lived near me was bitten and died. I would probably do the same OP.
SurfSnowSkate7 7
Granted, she was pretty old and didn't have the strongest immune system.
Krajjan 9
Yeah. Generally non-fatal, though sometimes quite excruciating. Usual worst case scenario is having to have the bite excised to prevent necrosis. She could have let it go long enough to become gangrenous?
tamie306 5
Don't worry OP. I wouldn't even be in the house if it were me.
thefallenqueen 5
Your dad should help you look. Those little bastards can cause deadly infections
BusinessTurtle 8
As well as necrosis
hopsinlove17 26
Are you saying parents like to attempt to poison their children? I think not Noor.
gracehi 33
Tell your dad to stop laughing and shoot it with his handgun!
mckibben 7
FML reference?