Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, to get my wife off my back, I introduced our two single friends who are both into QAnon. Not only did they not click, but now they both call us regularly to embellish the insane difference between their beliefs and "what that moron believes." Same words from both of them. FML
Today, I lost a second friend to QAnon conspiracy theories. Worst yet, he started messaging everyone I know on Facebook, telling them I'm a hypocrite who doesn’t “do his research.” Those who don’t now think he was my gay lover believe we were lab partners. What do I do with that? FML
Today, two girls who are in my class tried to talk to me about each other, not knowing the other had already spoken to me. They are best friends, but also hate each other, and seem to have taken me as the one to shit talk to about each other constantly. FML
Today, I realised that 3/4 of my family are prone to believe conspiracies and are anti-vax Covid freaks. I want to keep our relationships, but every discussion ends in an argument about some conspiracy they believe. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML
Today, I found out my 36 year-old wife has been cyberstalking an 18 year old-girl for a week. Why? Because the girl doesn’t believe in QAnon. I found out when my wife’s online business started getting backlash. FML
Today, I connected two of my long time best friends. Upon chatting with each other, they discovered how toxic I was as a friend to both of them. They agreed that those traits don't exist anymore, but they are too hurt to continue their friendship with me. Fire away the YDI. FML
Today, I was set up on a date by a coworker. The guy turned up late, but whatever. He then spent 30 breathlessly long minutes complaining about his "bitch of an ex." Then he spent another 30 minutes trying to convince me that the QAnon bullshit was real. I had to pull the whole 'fake emergency phone call' to get the hell out of there. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML
Today, a girl and her boyfriend dramatically left our group chat. One of her friends, a mod, is blaming me over a public exchange we had; he says it proves I "don't know her AT ALL." The crazy bitch called me every istaphobe in the book over not liking her favorite anime, and left because I told her to grow up. FML
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Top comments
wrenavery90 12
I'm not understanding why you have Qanon friends.
protoskore 27
the world is terrible and incomprehensible and people are having a bad time. for some, it is easier to cope if they can imagine a hidden cause for their troubles, some shadowy figures in control of all this wrongness, something you can focus on and fight against.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
You ought to fry up a baby for them and watch them shape-shift and fight over the wishbone.
wrenavery90 12
I'm not understanding why you have Qanon friends.
RichardPencil 32
I hadn't thought about that! My lizard brain is just so focused on impressing Queen Hillary.
Marcella1016 32
I don’t understand how people are into Q Anon. Wtf?
protoskore 27
the world is terrible and incomprehensible and people are having a bad time. for some, it is easier to cope if they can imagine a hidden cause for their troubles, some shadowy figures in control of all this wrongness, something you can focus on and fight against.
protoskore 27
someone should acquaint the Q crowd with the very old saying that a conspiracy can't involve more than two individuals, because the third will always be a government agent. (an agent of Bonaparte, in the original)