Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
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Top comments
be82tw 17
Pro tip: Every house has spiders. Period. Accept it. You may not see them, but they are there. Always. Sleep well!
RichardPencil 32
According to the recent series of documentary films, you're about to gain superpowers. With great power comes great responsibility.
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Comments (2)
be82tw 17
Pro tip: Every house has spiders. Period. Accept it. You may not see them, but they are there. Always. Sleep well!
RichardPencil 32
According to the recent series of documentary films, you're about to gain superpowers. With great power comes great responsibility.
RichardPencil 32
He'll probably get more or better superpowers in that case. Maybe he'll gain the power to change a pile of gravel into milkshakes. Or bust into places and break things up just before the bad guys do an egregious patent infringement.