Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I don't blame you. Spiders are terrifying.
AGhost5445 25
Your dad is a brave man.
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Comments (155)
KaeSAL 11
Anyone who says that op deserved it should know that the brown recluse spider carries a hemotoxic venom. Though they do not often bite, when they do there are a variety of horrific potential effects. Google "brown recluse spider bite" Op has every right to be afraid.
kaylanicole1695 12
I would let the kittens fend for themselves
KM96 24
Pranks on the kids! Not poison! Read the comment! >:(
jtalt92 5
Just wanna put this one out there. If one does bite you if you receive immediate medical attention the effects of the bite diminish. It's 2012, it's called medicine. We have it now.
OhhIrony 6
Spiders eat other bugs. Wait for a few days for the spider to eat other bugs, then get rid of the spider. Kill 2 birds with one stone! Or two species with one boot?
OhhIrony 6
Kill it before it lays eggs! Unless it already has... Then you need an exterminator. Ain't so funny now is it dad?
Kendrama94 3
Most of the time, people say they've seen a brown recluse but it's really just a harmless wolf spider. I wouldn't worry too much OP.
jaystreet46 4
It probably wasn't even a brown recluse. More likely just a brown spider that OP saw and in a dramatic fashion says omg it's a brown spider, it MUST be a brown recluse!!! You know how them women folk are about these type of things.
Areya_fml 5
That's really hilarious but super scary at the same time.
Techtacular 0
I'm sure it'll find a nice crevice and huddle inside. Hopefully leading outside. Terrifying! So sorry, OP!