Today, my cat tried to steal my burger. She was successful. She grabbed the patty with her teeth and pulled it right out of the burger. I was too dumbfounded to try and stop her. I have a suspicion that she is hungry and I forgot to feed her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, my cat ate the dog's food and is now very sick. For the third time. The first time he did it, I was concerned; second time, I was confused. Now I realize he's just an idiot. FML
Today, my mom’s greedy cat stole some milk I had left on the countertop, completely undeterred by the fact that not only was the milk in a plastic bag, it was also frozen solid. Yep, he actually managed to eat it. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I got home after a rough day and was really looking forward to some cuddles from my cat. I opened the door and she came running toward me, which was unusual, so I knelt down to embrace her. She ran right past me to get to the tuna sandwich I'd unwittingly dropped on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
Steal or steal not. There is no try. Even if you did remember to feed the cat, they are carnivores and need meat. Try small bits of sliced ham every once in a while. The FML here is for the cat as you sound casual and repetitive about not feeding your responsibility.
RichardPencil 32
Forgetting to feed a cat is something that happens to many cat owners. Not being able to realize that you forgot is the sign of a disturbing mental deficit. Chew on that while you eat your empty bun.
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Comments (3)
SirEnigM0nk 22
In Soviet Russia, pussy eat you!
Thaylok 17
Steal or steal not. There is no try. Even if you did remember to feed the cat, they are carnivores and need meat. Try small bits of sliced ham every once in a while. The FML here is for the cat as you sound casual and repetitive about not feeding your responsibility.
RichardPencil 32
Forgetting to feed a cat is something that happens to many cat owners. Not being able to realize that you forgot is the sign of a disturbing mental deficit. Chew on that while you eat your empty bun.