Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
Today, we had an office party and everyone had to dress as a dead star. I love Michael Jackson so I dressed up as him. It turns out I looked more like my boss than Michael. I was then written up for "theoretically" killing my boss. FML
Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML
Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML
Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML
Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
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Top comments
skilova4lifezzz 19
Wow. What a thriller. Probably scared you black and white.
Welshite 40
I'll bet you Beat It out of there.
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Comments (71)
skilova4lifezzz 19
Wow. What a thriller. Probably scared you black and white.
deet124 11
Dammit you beat me to it. FML
Nyx_fml 23
All OP could do was Scream.
epicwaffles 7
Am I the only one not making puns and wondering how they got the real Michael Jackson to pose as a statue?
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
OP didn't even notice. That man is such a smooth criminal.
HowieDoIt 21
These puns are so Bad. It's time to learn the ABC's of humor.
trueblue170 13
It IS Human Nature to be scared of some things.
mackdeezy 22
I guess This Is It. The moment when you face the facts and realize your fear is Invincible.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
18- I really hope you're kidding.
Freethaawave 19
#56 - Youuu are not alone
bfsd42 20
No 18, you are just thread Jack-ing.
andrealovvve 17
There's no words for how idiotic you made yourself sound.
swaggalikethat 22
That sounds Dangerous, I hope it wasn't too Bad, Op.
mansen 15
ABC 123...Peeee!!!
jman26 11
It coulda Ben worse
Kage01 4
Time to look at the man in the mirror
Bobby_007 9
#18 you need to, Beat It.
karlymarie27 9
#18 You can Beat It out of them.
Welshite 40
I'll bet you Beat It out of there.
T9FTW 20
Yeah, if I were the OP, I'd leave too. After all, I don't Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'. Heck, I'd probably laugh about it in the future. "Remember the Time when I Scream-ed at that Stranger in Moscow?"
DocBastard 40
Your fear of Michael Jackson? What's to be afraid of? He just liked children, slept in a hyperbaric chamber, had a pet monkey, destroyed his face with plastic surgery... Ok you have a point.
Peachy2392 26
His face after all the surgeries creeped me out the most. My brother printed out pictures of him and posted them all over the house and my room to help me "get over it".
skilova4lifezzz 19
That's Bad, could have ruined your Childhood, but don't worry #9; You Are Not Alone. We will all Come Together, and as a group we will Smile as we Heal The World.
\ 28
If MJ had went to therapy and not used Propofol, he'd likely still be with us today.
Cwizer 17
Nothing to see folks. Just another pop legend scaring people in the afterlife. It is Halloween !!
KawaiiCupcake 14
I think there should be a phobia of Michel Jackson... There is one for everything... Even for Halloween O_O
JMichael 26
We'd call it kingofpopaphobia.
tjv3 10
Don't forget that he turned himself white
buttcramp 21
I grew up scared of him too
Sputnikspak 13
83 - He didn't so much turn himself white as he had vitiligo, spots started showing up in the 80's and eventually his skin was white with brown spots, it was easier to use makeup to make him all white.
T9FTW 20
So I AOL searched "michael jackson scary face" and clicked "Images". God bless anyone who decides to do the same.
sassypants93 17
He is the king of POP!
laden_swallow09 35
How DARE you even breathe that hack's name in the same thread as His Majesty?!
cgart96 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He's the king of child molestation an bad plastic surgery. Not to mention that annoying voice.
rocker_chick105 31
^ You seem fun at parties
thatonegirlnic 10
You fear him? So You don't happen to be the baby he dangled off the balcony do you...?
incoherentrmblr 22
Makes some people wish he was Eric Clapton's kid instead...
MattOnFML 13
Tough luck on that. Still a funny joke though! Just unfortunate that it was scarring someone afraid of a person or statues.
skilova4lifezzz 19
I don't blame you though, it is Human Nature.
BFons 19
Haha that's great.
Enslaved 38
Why do you have a fear of him? Did he invite you over for a sleep over?
riddenhopes 13
Ask Billy Jean to help you with your fear.