Today, after months of asking my massage therapist boyfriend to work on me, and him always saying he’s too tired to do so, I called my local spa to make an appointment. He then screamed at me for wasting money and for going to the competition when he could just do the job himself. I'm confused too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML
Today, my boyfriend is spending a lot of time hyping up his female best friend who is participating in a modeling competition, trying to get her to win. When I asked this guy to help support my small business, he said he, “didn’t have time” to. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML
Today, I paid for my man to get a massage while we were on vacation. The hour passes and he wasn't answering his phone or texts. I go to the room and he’s just getting out of the shower. I come to find out she is high on ketamine, and he said they kissed. He still denies it. This is what I get for getting him a massage. FML
Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML
Today, I was asked if the reason I didn't like the new male massage therapist was because I was no longer the most muscular person in the spa. I'm a 5'4 woman and I don't work out. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with a spa day during our mini vacation with the kids. I booked her a facial and mani/pedi at the resort, figuring I would take the kids while she relaxed. Her reaction? "I hate the spa. Why would you waste that money? I'm not going." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
riley873 21
I get not wanting to come home only to work, but if he's not going to do it he can't bitch when you go out to get it done
Charity Taylor 17
I'd totally argue that being able to and being willing to are clearly two different things. If he were willing to you wouldn't have had to do that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (18)
bullsonyourface 20
once again reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld
RichardPencil 32
The woman who hates George or Raymond?
bullsonyourface 20
stifflers mom was on Seinfeld and was a massage therapist and refused to work on Jerry
RichardPencil 32
The cobbler's children have no shoes.
riley873 21
I get not wanting to come home only to work, but if he's not going to do it he can't bitch when you go out to get it done
Charity Taylor 17
I'd totally argue that being able to and being willing to are clearly two different things. If he were willing to you wouldn't have had to do that.
JenniF_fml 9
Maybe next time make an appointment with him? That way you get a massage and the money stays with you two
kfchicken 31
that not how a business works. he'll get paid a cut for the work regardless of if it's her or not, the only difference is that she's vs it being free at home
siggy_mcsigx 22
Why not book a real appointment through his business so he's within his work hours?
TooTall0231 9
he sounds retarded.
penney123 10
He’s an idiot! You do you! If he’s not willing to help then F him!
Sonotsuave 37
Tell him he can’t have his cake and eat it too. Either he helps you out or at least books you an appointment with him, or he pipes the **** down and lets you spend money as you wish.
JackFaire 27
My family does that stuff. If I need a frying pan I'll be told to not waste my money they can give me one. Months later getting yelled at for finally buying one