Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML
Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I realized my friends were right about my obsession for my only son when I found myself genuinely jealous when I heard he recently got a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I decided I would tell my mom I'm not going to marry my fiancé because it just didn't feel right, only to walk into my own surprise engagement party. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Truly tolerant people are in short supply these days, it seems it is too tall an order to be able to see short people as equals in society these days. I think it is below the belt to mock dwarves for their vertical shortcomings, and looking down on them is why we can't all see eye to eye here, and why they have such a short-fuse. As a smaller person, I feel like I drew the short straw in my gene pool.
Voldy_fml 16
That must've been very embarrassing and rude at the same time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
AcroEsther 6
Midgets are not that bad... But having a fear for them... Good luck, OP...
newbiehere99 6
Not all "little people" midgets ... Some are dwarfs ... So calling them midgets can be offensive ...
mpj13 8
Give it time OP. He will grow on you.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
44, being politically correct is stupid! Don't be such a gay retarded midget and you won't be offended by such things. :P
newbiehere99 6
Um...
AcroEsther 6
I'm sorry. I'm not English and that was the only word for it that I knew. If I offended someone, my apologies.
7yzz 18
He is being a bit of a niggerfaggot, isnt he.
lordslaya53 14
What? Someone on the internet apologized?! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!
AlexRen 21
@76 it means the matrix has been broken.
dalink 24
So you throw it on the GROUND!!
FastidiousPear 6
76 - It means #1 is lying because it says "little person" IN THE ORIGINAL POST! Midget is nowhere to be seen. I call bs.
Mouton_fml 5
92 Is a dumb ****. As a non-Native English speaker, the word we learned first tends to be the one we associate it with, even if it is not the word written. For example, I misread the word 'Autumn' for 'Atomic' in a book and then referred to the scene as 'Nuclear' (The original word for atomic I learned), even though you would not mention the word 'Nuclear' in a story about autumnal woods.
FastidiousPear 6
93 - if you made that mistake, clearly you are the "dumb ****"
gmian 34
93. something similar happened to me. A lab I did had atomic in its title, and when I copied it, I wrote automatic instead. That damn word, atomic...
Voldy_fml 16
That must've been very embarrassing and rude at the same time.
angelayla 17
LOL
Pleonasm 36
Truly tolerant people are in short supply these days, it seems it is too tall an order to be able to see short people as equals in society these days. I think it is below the belt to mock dwarves for their vertical shortcomings, and looking down on them is why we can't all see eye to eye here, and why they have such a short-fuse. As a smaller person, I feel like I drew the short straw in my gene pool.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
How do you come up with all of these?? xD
Hiimhaileypotter 53
We can't place all the blame on OP. Maybe OP's mother's fiancé doesn't quite measure up.
sugarshane007 20
Agh! Beat me to the punch. Well done Pleonasm.
TheDrifter 24
Pleonasm is a pun demon from the world mustachio. Well, I'm fairly sure, mostly.
Pleonasm 36
You're not supposed to give away my location! Before I know it, a rover will be on its way to my planet to study it. Jokes on you guys, I live 12 light years away, you guys haven't even discovered hyperspeed travel yet, suckazzz.
Whysocool 5
Hello. I'm from a far away planet called earth. And you?
Pleonasm 36
I'm kind of like that family from 3rd Rock From the Sun, learning more about Earth's strange ways.
charvisioku 22
There's always a shortage of puns before Pleonasm comes along. But he soon raises the bar and minimizes the damages caused by lack of humour.
meagann01 4
*Takes off hat* Mon cher Watson .
Fluffydemise 18
I don't understand how this got almost two hundred thumbs up. It's hardly being a 'pun demon', every bit of wordplay in that was blindingly obvious, groanworthy, and not particularly funny. What is funny is then the people posting afterwards, pleonasms adoring fans, the ones who will no doubt down vote me to oblivion, praising his amazing wordplay and puns. So, I guess I got a laugh out of this, but not at the intended part.
DosntExist 4
the puns all the small puns
DarciMae 2
Love tolerance, but it seems to come in such a twisted version these days.
jokinghazard 3
You just couldn't resist, huh?
SailorSolaris 43
At least they admitted to knowing it was a highly irrational fear. People can't control phobias.
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
But little people are so cute ! ):
toelie 26
That's so condescending it's worse than being afraid of them.
hellobobismyname 24
They're not puppies you know? Although I know you meant well it sounds like you're talking about an animal that you see in a pet store...
EvilUndead 9
Some people are deathly afraid of cats. I'm talking about house cats here. Think about it.
klovemachine 24
I hope that your mom's fiancé has a good sense of humor
cupcakechick 17
if they have a fear its nothing to have a sence of humor about, especially if its a phobia,
charvisioku 22
If I were him, I'd chase OP every time I saw her and try to bite her knees.
klovemachine 24
@21 What I meant is that I hope the fiance isn't sensitive about his height
lilledun 11
He's probably more afraid of you than you are of him.
GingerNinja7 17
"Just don't make eye contact or make any sudden movements and he'll be fine"
motor_fml 20
Is it the little sausage fingers or from watching them fight on Jerry Springer? Maybe both?
kingsian 15
Pick him up and hug him
perdix 31
Hire Randy Newman to play at the wedding.
perdix 31
I gotta wonder: Is this getting thumbed-down because people get the reference and don't like it, or are they are just being pissy because they don't get the reference?
A7XCamaro 19
I would bet it's people not getting reference, and being pissy about it. I personally thought it was a great reference, that song popped into my head as soon as I read the FML.
Cian_1 28
I must confess to not getting the reference. However, when I miss such a blatant reference, I do not thumb up or down. I leave it to those who do get it, to decide if it's a good comment or not. :P
Abantiquo 7
59 - http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=1NvgLkuEtkA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D1NvgLkuEtkA
outoftown 27
Now that song will be running through my head all night!
brittyboo123 35
Good luck OP, he could be your new step dad.
GingerNinja7 17
Well, the good news is, if he tries to abuse you, you can just sit on top of your fridge or something high up and he'll never get you!