Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
mclauren29 22
Good to see your dad's scamming, inconsiderate ways aren't genetic, OP.
jerrylee123 8
Even though that was a pretty dick move by your Dad, don't let it change your generosity when it comes to the less fortunate. We need more people like you in the worls OP!! :)
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Comments (92)
KirstenZ 6
Give your dad some money! He seems to be wanting money if he's really got to go to that extent.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
Hopefully the other bums are onto his game and they unleash an onslaught of physical and mental abuse.
gracehi 33
Should have literally thrown the food in his face.
Enslaved 38
I had a homeless guy that uses to come into my bar every night and ask if he could convert his change into dollar bills. (I guess drug dealers don't accept pennies. JK) Anyhoo, I was amazed with how much he made. It was always around $5 or more. He asked me for money a few times. Ex: if he had $4.65 he'd ask if I would be so kind to round his change up to the nearest dollar. (He was always very polite.) I finally stop giving him extra money because it just encouraged him to keep coming back "every night" expecting the same treatment. Finally, I decided to only buy him a meal here and there. He then started to become super picky about what I gave him, asking to make sure his burger was cooked medium rare, his fries were crispy and that I gave him extra pickles and ketchup. I recently banned him because it was getting out of hand! Sorry for my long story. I can't remember where I was going with this. :P
rattusrattus 19
Your dad: a classy bugger. I thought that kind of thing only happened in fiction.
Austyn57 1
not cool bro
skyeyez9 25
I remember a man in a wheelchair who had had a "homeless, disabled vietnam vet" sign. He had one leg and his lap was covered in a blanket. When we kept walking past.....I saw his "missing leg" was tucked under and he was sitting on it. We saw his shoe sticking out a bit thru the space on the seat of his wheelchair and the back rest.
HappyJello 7
I've always wanted to try that.
alybsox 4
I would have thrown the food at him...
culito_fml 10
Well...